Mackenzie's Critique Shop

Descendant | Sarah3534

Opening comments: 

Hello Author! So sorry for taking a LONGGG time in writing this review, I honestly did not expect this to take this long but I do hope that you find this critique useful in any way. <3

First Impressions:

At first, I was honestly quite hesitant to even critique this book since it was so new to me. I got scared if whether or not I will be able to write a proper critique and help you get the suggestions that you needed. 

I will admit, it's also hard to read since the wordings and structure are so different to what I am used to, to the point where I had to reread a few sentences back to recall or "get" something however, along the way I grew to understand and connect with the story and its characters which I think is the most important key in writing. So, I really hope you find this critique helpful and encouraging.

Characterization:

Dana - I couldn't quite grasp her character since I personally think that her personality isn't as striking as the others, the lack of dialogues also made it harder for me to actually understand and 'vibe' with her. However, I do think that she is determined and independent in her own way. I like how she's mature enough to handle things on her own but, still better if she was given more of the personality which can make her stand out more.

Jenny - She reminds me of that type of girl who is always looking for adventure and fun. In fact she may be my favorite because I think she's just so funny and lively.

Luke - I am in LOVE With Luke! Just by his character description and attitude got me wooing for him. He's such a gentleman! And such a sweet gentle being, to the point he made it to my 2nd top favorite characters.

Paul - OK but, personally I'm not really a fan of the flirty types especially when you just met; I just think that's weird and kinda creepy in a way. I also noticed that he's the easy going and brutally honest type where he can just blurt out random things and make it funny.

Although I'm still not a huge fan of his behavior, perhaps it's just a personal preference since I'm more into a gentleman type such as Luke but I can see Paul as a good stress reliever and friend to Dana. But, oh my goodness as I continuously read something inside me made me love him more than I thought, perhaps it's his attitude which I would sometimes laugh about, but whatever it is I love it.

Carlyle: he's rude but in a honest way, what he says are offensive but it makes sense and I think he only wants the best for everyone by telling the truth no matter how rude and mean it may seem.

Setting:

I like how the setting gives off this mystery and spooky vibes which is perfect for the story, I also like how 'different' the people view and act towards something because it really give out those mystery and intriguing vibes.

Conflict and plot: 

I like how some scenes shows that the conflict and problem isn't really about the debt anymore but it evolved into something more such as Dana's conflicting feelings towards Benton and its people.

It gives this new meaning and attachment that I too became attached as well.

Pacing: