[PERMANENTLY CLOSED]
Want a genuine reader and helpful critiques?
In this shop, I offer you helpful advice and outlook on your book, all while commenting and voting! I try my best to read everything in your story, and provide as helpful outlooks on...
A tasteful historical romance revolving around rebellious Lourdes as she navigates the mystery of her mother and the treacherous games that love plays in England, 1800's.
Opening comments:
Hi author! Congratulations on creating such a masterpiece and many more! This book really reached--no, exceeded my expectations. Definitely a 10 out of 10, I could not find anything lacking in it. I loved it! And yes, I am aware of how much this review basically sounds like a bunch of compliments rather than a review. But it's just that good!
Don't feel shy to add inline comments if you have any inquiries, reactions or pm me if you have anything you can't understand in my review.
First Impressions:
First, the cover. I like it, I think it's fine. But it seems a bit blurry, and I couldn't read the text at all. I'm also not quite sure the girl in the picture embraces Lourdes' rebellious and outgoing nature at all. The girl seems like Charity, almost.
I suggest changing the cover picture. Maybe something where a girl runs across a field, or dancing or sneaking. Something that would match with your main character's personality.
The font is also really hard to read, especially it's color.
Secondly, for the title. I think it's great! It embodies Lourdes' thirst for adventure and grass and mud stains all over her dress. I think your title is perfect and suits your book. It also gives this mellow, yet adventurous vibe to it. Something that really feels historical. I love it!
And then for the description, here it is:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Though I think your description is really well written and the prose is beautiful, there's some things I'd want to address.
The way you introduced Lourdes is great, but it's way too long. We did not need that many information, like how she looked or what she dreams. It's enough to tell us about the racial injustice she faces and her mysterious mother.
Introduction first (be careful not to add too many unneeded information), and then start introducing your plot. Tell us about this game she plays with a certain friend, tell us about the arranged marriage, about her near-perfect cousin. And then finish it off with a flourish, the stakes.
This way, the reader knows enough of what they're going to read to be intrigued. Just be careful not to spoil too much for the readers, just the things they'd need to know. Like the conflict, the main gist of your story.
And for your opening chapter, it was great, absolutely beautiful! The way you described the setting, your prose, Lourdes dancing in the cliffs--it was perfection! You know? I believe even if your book's plot lives in the slums of the slums and is the queen of all cliche, but once you have these three things, it'll really start pulling readers: interesting characters, good writing and comedy. But in this case, you have all three (albeit the writing part needs some polishing for your edit) plus a good plot!
