Don't Stop Believin': Book One of the Kimberly Hummel Series

Chapter Thirteen

A few days later, Artie, Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina were all in the choir room watching a video of Sue dancing to "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John. We were all laughing at it as other members walked in.

"What's so funny?" Finn asked, sitting behind me.

"You aren't watching me falling off stage at my first Tiny Tots beauty pageant are you?" Rachel asked, sitting behind my brother.

"That was Carrot-Top funny compared to this comedic tour de force," Kurt answered.

"That's Olivia Newton-John's 'Physical'," Jesse said. "It was pretty groundbreaking at the time considering its depiction of fluid sexuality."

"Oh, my goodness," Mercedes laughed.

"Wait, wait," Finn said. "That's not Olivia Newton-John. That's Sue Sylvester. Where did you get this?"

"I can tell you that I certainly did not get it from her locked file cabinet when she sent me back to her office to get her hormone replacement injection during Cheerios practice," my brother said laughing .

"Wait, did she just do the Cabbage Patch?" Artie asked as I started thinking of a genius plan.

"I'm posting this on YouTube," I said, grabbing the laptop.

"Wait," Rachel said. "Do you think that's a good idea? She might kill us."

"Oh, let her get a taste of some of the humiliation she put us through," Mercedes said.

"I'm with Kimberly," Jesse said. "You guys need to stop being such asses and start being badasses."

I smirked as I grabbed the laptop off the stool and leaned back in my chair, starting to get it posted, "Ten bucks it goes viral by lunch."

*    *    *    *    *

    Mr. Schue held a paper that was titled "Glist: 'Who's Hot - Who's Not!'", "Who did it? This is serious. Principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club."

    "Why are we playing this game?" Santana asked. "We all know it was Puck."

    "Back off, I didn't do squat," he said.

    "Then why is your girlfriend first on the Glist?" Tina asked, referring to Quinn.

    "And why am I last?" Rachel asked. "Aside from the fact that I refused to put out for you."

    "Okay, enough! No one is accusing anyone of anything. Puck, seriously. Did you do it?" Mr. Schue asked.

"I said no. I'm a delinquent, sure. I like setting stuff on fire, and beating up people I don't know, I own that. But I'm not a liar," Puck looked over at me. "I bet it was Kimberly. She's the last person anyone would think of."

"Okay, I'm just a genuinely nice person, unlike you. That doesn't mean I would do it. Hell, if I did do it, I would've put myself at number one," I said.

"Enough," Mr. Schue said. "Here's the important point, between this . . . and posting Coach Sylvester's private video on Youtube, you guys are getting a bad reputation."

"What is that a bad thing?" Artie asked. "Maybe if we seem more dangerous people would stop flushing my things down the toilet."

"Look, I know things are hard right now," Mr. Schue said, starting to hand out music. "You're under a lot of pressure with regionals coming up. But I know that winning sectionals hasn't had a positive effect on your popularity like you thought it would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer."

"Man, this song is wack," Mercedes said, looking at the title.

"No, it's not. It's a terrific song on a long list of top hits that because of time or bed press has become a joke. And like you guys, it's time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation. The assignment for the week is for all of you to find songs like this, mine them for what works. And make them great again. And then, hopefully, you can apply this musical lesson to your own lives."