𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚘'𝚜 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛

Chapter 15

TW// Panic attack, mentions of abuse.

[Ranboo's pov - Thursday, 9am]

I woke up, feeling a hint of calmness as I yawned. I could hear the quiet chatter from Tommy in his room, the clacking of his keyboard and laughter from...Riley? I turned around to see the two sat in front of Tommy's computer on two gaming chairs. I straightened my back to sit up, suddenly worried if he was streaming. He wouldn't, right?

Right?

Tommy turned to me, aware of my concern. He had allowed Riley to use his computer. He looked at me like he was in trouble, almost, and it made me slightly worried.

"Hey," Tommy said, dragging the 'e', "Ranboo."

"Hi," I answered hesitantly.

"I'm not streaming or in a call with anyone by the way," he clarified. "She just wanted to go on the SMP for awhile."

I let out a deep breath before nodding. Riley snapped her neck at me for a split second before looking back at the computer screen.

"Morning, brother."

"Good morning, Rye." I got up from the bed and stretched, before going over to pat Riley's head. "Have you brushed your teeth?"

She stopped controlling Tommy's character on the SMP for a second. "No," she said before continuing to play.

I scoffed, then pulled her chair away from the computer.

"Ran!" Riley called, before I faced her to the room door.

I walked towards it and opened the door.

"Ugh," she muttered, getting up from her seat. "You're such a party pooper."

Tommy giggled after she went to the bathroom. "By the way," he spoke. "I was wondering if we should tell Tubbo you're here. Y'know, because this is kind of huge to hide from Tubbo."

"Yeah," I stopped myself from saying the whole sentence.

"I sense a 'but' coming."

"But," I chuckled, "it's Tubbo, he's kind of like the Tom Holland of the Dream SMP."

"Aw, but I wanna tell him."

"You're right, we should."

I clicked on Tubbo's contact, hitting call. Staring at the name while it rang, I felt waves of anxiety course through me.

"Hey, Tubbo," I called.

"WHAT'S UP, BEE BOY?" Tommy shouted.

"Tommy? Wait, you guys met up?"

"Yeah," I said, turning to Tommy who nudged me to keep talking. "I'm kinda living with Tommy for now."

"How come?"

"Uh, long story short, my dad's in jail and I have no one to stay with."

"WAIT," Tubbo yelled excitedly. "DOES THIS MEAN YOU AND TOM ARE BROTHERS?!"

Tommy gasped. "That's what I asked him!"

"For the second time, no."

"Aw," I could just hear the sad expression being plastered on Tubbo's face. "Why not?"

"Because I'm almost 17 and I don't need Phil to adopt me. I can legally live on my own."

"What about your sister?"

"She's staying wherever I'm staying."

After the call ended, I brushed my teeth and got back to the room. I felt like I was getting slightly more comfortable around Tommy, but he's only 25% of the 'sleepy bois'. I think I was pushing myself to talk to him more, as if forcing myself to be comfortable. When I heard Riley talk about our dad to Tommy, I wanted to go some place where I wouldn't be able to hear their conversation. However, I was trying to talk to everyone more. So, I joined into my least favourite conversation.

"What're you guys talking about?" I asked.

"About Dad," Riley answered. "I'm relieved he's gone, honestly. He's always been an alcoholic asshole that doesn't care about his family."

"That's not true," I passed her a look of disbelief. "You haven't seen the good side of him. He was so nice before Mom died and he defenitely cares for his family, Rye."

Riley's jaw dropped sarcastically. "You're defending him? Out of everyone, Ran, you're the least person I would expect-"

"Why wouldn't I defend him?"

"Uh, guys-" Tommy chimed in only to get cut off by Riley and ignored by us both.

"Because all he does is ask you to pay rent, finds a dumb reason to pick an argument and abuse you, asks you to do everything around the house-"

"You've only known the real him for 3 years," My voice raised in frustration. "He genuinely cared about us. I don't know why he lied to you about Mom's death but he- he was a whole different person that you never remembered."

"Wait," Riley whispered. "He lied to me about...Mom?"

Feeling myself almost panic thinking about him, I let tears cloud my vision. A strangled cry was forming in my throat; I urged myself to move but I couldn't. I didn't know where to go. I wanted to just run back to the park, or be somewhere no one can find me. Instead, I locked myself in the bathroom.

"Ranboo," Tommy knocked on the door. "I'm sorry, it's my fault for starting it."

"What happened?" I heard another voice, too deep to be Phil or Wilbur's, it was probably Techno's.

I cried, letting myself slip into a panic attack. I drained out chatters from outside the bathroom door. I expected to hear the voices, however, they never came. I knew it was going away, but it always came back during panic attacks. I was smiling. I was hyperventilating, crying about my past, yet smiling that I didn't hear voices in my head yelling at me. I felt crazy, but also not? The feelings I felt were so mixed and confusing, I couldn't put it into words let alone comprehend it myself.

[Third pov]

Riley knew Ranboo wouldn't want them to make a big deal out of what happened. She asked Techno if there was a spare key for the bathroom.

"Yeah," he answered in a gentle voice. "Should I get it?"

"Yes, please, and don't tell Phil or Will about this."

Techno nodded before getting the spare key. He came back to hear sniffles behind the bathroom door before unlocking it. Riley took the spare key from the door, going in the bathroom and locking Techno out. Ranboo's hand was covering his face. Riley sat next to him, trying to move his hand out of his face. Ranboo woudn't budge.

"Can you hear me?" She asked, aware that he used to hear voices.

Ranboo nodded, trying to calm himself down without help from his sister. Riley thought he didn't want her there. She leaned forward, resting her head against Ranboo's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Riley said. "I'll stop talking about Dad from now on. He's not apart of our lives anymore."

Ranboo's choked sobs turned into chuckles. A day ago, he'd thought he'd never hear such a sound come out of his mouth again. Baffled, Riley looked up to see her brother smiling with tears in his eyes.

She smirked, asking, "did I miss something?"

He shook his head, stabilizing his breath.

"Why did you start laughing?" Riley questioned.

"I don't hear the voices anymore."