Redemption

Chapter 18

Rose

"Sorry, I just need to go to the bathroom really quick," I offer a smile that I hope is convincing as I hang out with Ty and Nova in their mother's basement. Nova waves me off and Ty only glances at me but doesn't say anything. I can't help feeling like he knows something is wrong, but he hasn't tipped me off. Everyone has been saying things that seems to me like they know something is up, but I try to reassure myself that it's likely my guilty conscience talking.

I stand from our game and keep my pace even as I head towards the stairs, climbing them and arriving at the living room upstairs where Aunty and Uncle Joe sit together, cuddled up on their couch. They're now officially together and I'm happy for them.

A movie plays on the t.v. in front of them, but the volume is turned down all the way as they speak in hushed tones. Aunty giggles and I almost stop in my tracks, finding the sound pleasant, but odd. Before Uncle Joe she had a tough exterior and never would have been caught giggling. But here she is, letting her guard down with him.

The two suddenly look my way and I almost flinch back, feeling like I've been caught. But it's okay, I haven't done anything wrong, I'm just heading upstairs.

Aunty puts some space between her and Uncle Joe, her expression a bit embarrassed. If I wasn't so caught up in my task, I'd grin, but tonight is not the time for that, I have to get upstairs. It's now or never.

"Sorry, just coming through," I apologize and head up, giving a slight wave and small smile before turning away and vanishing upstairs. Once I'm sure I'm out of their sight, I head to Aunty's bathroom where I hid the pregnancy tests.

Today's the day.

I'll be able to find out if-if- "Let's just do it." I interrupt my own thoughts, shutting the door and beginning.

I've struggled to wait for the exact date so I'm a bit early, but I just can't bear to wait any longer.

The wait for the tests to show their results is worse than the wait for this day to come, but as I look down at the five sticks and the signs, I almost cry in relief. It's the knock at the bathroom door that stops me from doing so.

I hurriedly hide the tests into the trash bin in the bathroom, making sure to cover them with tissues before chucking their empty containers behind the bin.

My hands shake as I open the door to find Nova standing there, a smile and odd look on her face.

"What are you doing here, Rose? Why didn't you just use the bathroom in my room?" I blink, the excuse I had prepared before now nowhere to be found.

"Um...pads-I thought-I," I stammer and try to think of something as my mind blanks. "...I thought Aunty might have some." Nova stares at me for a moment and I see her study me, her eyes taking me in and I pray in my mind-the first time since that day-that she won't ask anything.

"Hmm? I have more than my mom, you know that. Why are you being silly, Cuz? Whatever, let's just go back to the game." She continues talking but I don't really hear her well. There's a fear at the back of my mind as I realize I might not have covered all the sticks well in my rush. I'll have to come back to check.

"You're alright though, right?" She questions and I blink, tuning back in.

"Alright-yeah. Yes. I just...yes." No. No, please-I'm not. I'm not. My nerves are frazzled with lack of sleep and all of the worries I've had piling on me since that day. I just want to cry. I'm relieved, but it's short-lived. I have to come back and make sure no one knows and that they will never find out; that's the best thing.

Nova and I head back downstairs and I try to keep my attention as we play whatever game we play. But after a while, I excuse myself again. Nova gives me a curious look but I just leave, needing to get back up.