Redemption

Chapter 10

Rose

"Austin?"

"Hmm?" I look back at Austin as we sit together much like that day two years ago. But he's different now, just physically though. Just like Ty, he's put on muscle, and he's taller now. His once cherubim facial features have been chiseled and reveal stronger features of a young man. It pairs well with his blue eyes that really hold your gaze, but it also intensifies it.

My dear Austin is still the same on the inside and I'm grateful he's different than a number of the guys his age.

"What do you think of me?" His eyebrows furrow at my question.

We're growing up and most of the girls my age are changing. They've got boobs that boys ogle at and make jokes about. I don't envy them for the unwanted attention, but as a girl who puberty seems to be hitting later than the others, I do wonder what he thinks about me.

"...you mean physically, Rose?" his gaze is intense like always, but I've gotten used to it. Not only that, I like it. But in times like these, I feel a little shy, but I know I can be honest with Austin.

"Yes," I murmur. "I...I'm not," my lips purse together and I stop for a moment. I've never brought this up before and he's never talked about it either-our bodies changing. For some guys, their eyes naturally go down as soon as you step into a room as if they're trying to see what you've got. But for him, his eyes always stay on my face. He's so respectful that it's almost strange. But I like it. He's like a miniature Uncle Joe as he treats me the way Uncle Joe treats Aunty.

"I'm not...curvy...like-" I stop as his eyes narrow before finishing my sentence. "Like the other girls. So I just-"

"Do you have to be?" he interrupts and his question gives me pause. For some reason, I never thought about that. "...did someone tell you that you have to be?" Again, I pause.

No, it's not like I was told that, but it seems like that's what's liked. From guys our age to even those in my culture. It's just a norm to me.

"You take care of your body and I like that," he shrugs. "I think that's good already. Besides, it's not your body that I like the most, Rose," he stops, studying me for a moment before sneaking a kiss on my cheek.

"I like you," although the years have gone by, I really feel like we've gone back to that day two years ago. His cheeks get rosy much like that day, giving him a boyish look even though he's not a boy anymore.

I study him, noting his changed features again and I admire them. Yeah, Austin is becoming a young man.

We gaze at one another before I move closer, wanting a little bit more. Austin obliges, giving me a chaste kiss like then, but I deepen it, wanting to test the waters. And at first, he responds likewise and our mouths do a little dance together that has something stirring within me, causing me to move closer.

But then, all at once, he ends it, pulling back and looking at me unsurely. Austin looks torn as if he wants to kiss me again, but he only shakes his head, standing abruptly before reaching out his hand. I only stare up at him, feeling disappointed.

"I said I'd take care of you, Rose. Kissing you like this...that's not taking care of you."

And there it is, even in the midst of my disappointment, I recognize that he's only trying to do right by me. Neither of us are in a relationship together. My parents, Uncle Joe, and Aunty would never allow for that. They think that you should only get into a relationship if you're ready for marriage. On one hand, I get that. If we're not ready for anything long-term, what would be the purpose of a relationship? But on the other hand, I'd like to be with Austin like that. It's logic vs. feelings and I'm tempted to run with my feelings. But I know that's not the best.

So I take his hand and he helps me up. He's quiet for a moment before speaking.

"Are you upset?"

"A little," I admit. "I like you, Austin."

"I like you too, but we've got to be careful. I've got to treat you the way God would want me to treat you, Rose," this statement would have been unheard of two years ago, but he's really come to strive for a life of putting God first the way Uncle Joe and Aunty do. I admire that, but again, there's some disappointment. My flesh doesn't think highly of it.

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," he reminds me softly. His gentle correction has me nodding. Austin gives a small smile before kissing the top of my head.

"Let's head inside where everyone else is," I nod and he leads me there, guiding me in that gentle, lovely way of his.

At the time, I didn't even realize how valuable of a trait this was, and how remarkable it was that he had it at a young age.