Sunlight - Book 3

Night Excursion

I clamped my hands down over ears as Jacob kept knocking on the door to try and get me to open it. I didn't want to see him, I knew I couldn't face him and the inevitable relationship we were to grow to. I was torn between keeping him happy and wanting my own happiness. As long as I had to pretend to love him I knew I wouldn't be happy. As long I was forced to pretend I would never be happy.

"GO AWAY!" I shouted before aiming a light kick against the door with my foot.

"Ness come on, talk to me. What did I do wrong?" I heard him ask.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know but just leave me alone okay. I just need time to think that's all."

There was silence on the other side of the door so I guessed that Jake gave up. After a few seconds a series of metallic jingles could be heard with the accompany of the door handle moving up and down. Then the lock clicked and the door opened.

"I told you to stay out!" I yelled as I pushed myself further into the bathroom.

"Renesmee please just tell me what is wrong. I promise I will do everything to make you feel better, just tell me okay cause I'm literally going insane." Jake's expression was so desperate he seemed to be turning a bronze-red shade.

I looked up at him. "I'm scared okay."

He let out a sigh of relief before he came over to me and took a seat. "What about?"

I scrunched my face into a pout. "Us. I'm scared that I won't be able to love you like my mom loves my dad." I looked up at him from under my big brown lashes. "I just want you to be happy."

Jake pulled me into his arms and held me. "Don't worry about that. If and when that happens you will be a great lover because you were made from two people that loved each other very much."

I snuggled against the warmth of his body. Maybe he was right.

"Jake, how do you know if you love someone like my mom and dad love each other?" I asked in a small voice.

All was silent for the longest time. Then he spoke only it wasn't as I had imagined it.

"I honestly don't know."

"But you love me, isn't imprinting the same thing?"

Jake sighed. "I guess only it doesn't happen the same way. Imprinting is in an instant, there is no getting to know your 'soul mate' gradually like you would when falling in love. It's basically made up for us and our minds are forced to go along with it."

"Have you ever loved anyone before?" I asked him curiously.

" On my own yes, once."

"Who?"

Jake moved me to the side before rising to his feet. "That's not important but getting food into your stomach is. It's been a while since you've ate and you know your parents wouldn't approve of that."

 I rose to my feet and followed him into the bedroom where he was already on the phone calling for room service.

"Yes, two large pizza's, pepperoni on one and the works on the other." He glanced up at me and then quickly looked away. "Soda? No, do you have ale?" After a few more seconds he hung up. "Hope you don't mind pizza for dinner." He flashed a smile at me and then turned on the television before flopping down onto the bed.

I watched the screen come into focus and the sound of revving engines and cop sirens filled the room.

"Haha, cops is on." He smirked to himself.

His attention was elsewhere which left me to myself. Looking out the glass doors to the balcony I smiled. I could go out and explore the city as long as Jake didn't catch me. I knew if he found out he'd bring me back.