The Ugly Duckling (PUBLISHED UNDER PSICOM)

Ugly #38

A second can make a difference. Make it ten and watch it destroy everything.

Oxygen somehow got lost inside my body, giving me a hard time to breathe. My eyes remained on the screen of Avis' phone, watching the whole thing play out right in front of me.

Whoever captured the video was standing at the right corner of the room, in a safe distance from the girl's back. The camera's position made it impossible to see the girl's face but the back of her head. The only thing that I could see clearly was Sage face and his lips that were glued to someone else's.

It took me a long time before my mind could process what I was seeing. Staring longer made everything look so detailed that I could see their every movements.

The girl's arm was clung on Sage's nape while the other was innocently placed against his chest. Their movements were slow and leisured. Her head leaned to the side, an obvious attempt that she was trying to deepen the kiss.

Sage lifted his hand and placed it gently on the girl's waist. It took another three seconds of kissing before the video stopped. The screen turned black but I kept on staring. A small figure of ten was written near the corner of the screen. My stomach heaved. The duration of the video was ten seconds. It only took ten little seconds to break my heart.

"Les..." I could hear pity dripping in my sister's voice. The remains of my shattered heart clenched so hard that I could almost feel it bleed. 

"Avis..." my voice cracked. Inalis ko ang tingin sa screen ng phone at tiningnan si Avis na nanlalabo ang mga mata. A tear spontaneously fell down my left cheek. "Bakit ang sakit?" 

I blinked, staring at Avis to make the tears in my eyes disappear but I couldn't stop the waterworks anymore. The tears had its own mind and fell without my consent. Whimpers swamped in my throat, I held it in until I couldn't anymore. 

The sympathetic look in my sister's face vanished as darkness took over her face and her eyes. Her jaws hardened as I cried harder. "Ang sakit, Ate. Ang sakit sakit." 

Her eyes widened in my outburst. She gritted her teeth and pulled me close for a hug. She gently pushed my head on her shoulder. She was shaking in pent up anger. "I'm going to kill that guy. I'm going to kill him."

Dapat ay gumaan ang loob ko sa narinig ko kay Avis pero imbis na iyon ang maramdaman ay mas lalo lang akong naiyak. Nasasaktan ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit. Hindi dapat ako nasasaktan ng ganito. 

I already saw this one coming. I already knew that what Sage and I had wouldn't last. It was also the main reason why I didn't want to introduce him to my parents.

Inasahan ko na ang pangyayaring ito kaya bakit ako nasasaktan ngayon? Hindi ko dapat nararamdaman ang matinding sakit na ito. My heart shouldn't be shattering like some kind of fragile glass right now. I shouldn't be in pain but I am. I am in so much pain that it's killing me. I never thought that I would be hurting this bad.

Hindi na ako nakapasok. Akala ko ay kaya ko pero hindi ko makayanang hindi umiyak. Sa tuwing papasok sa utak ko ang halik na iyon ay tumutulo ang luha mula sa mga mata ko kasabay ang pagkirot ng puso ko.

I was sitting in my bed, blankly staring in the ground when Dee came barging in my room. It was near lunch when she arrived. Worry was written all over her face. There was pain in her eyes. Knowing Dee, seeing me like this hurts her completely. She's as affected as I am. Kung siya ang nasa ganitong sitwasyon ay baka nga mas malala pa ang naging reaksyon ko.

Walang ibang sinabi si Dee. She just hugged me for a long time. Nang niyakap niya ako ay hindi ko ulit napigilan ang sarili sa pag-iyak. I'm pathetic. Natuto lang akong umiyak ay sinulit ko naman masyado.