Paradox

Chapter 17: Confessions

Lucifer ignored his brother. He sat down at the bar downing drink after drink. Seeing his mother looking as she had all those years ago only older - made his heart unwittingly ache. He hated her he told himself. Yet a small part of him missed the woman who had introduced him to music, cooking, and free will. Why did everything in his life end in betrayal and punishment? He ran away from hell and now hell followed him making him confront things he'd rather left forgotten. He glanced at Amenadiel who was still gripping the note from mum. Amenadiel had been her favorite -- the oldest, perhaps his brother was reminiscing as well.

"When you were in hell were you the one who chained her up in that tomb?" Amenadiel asked in a slightly accusing tone.

"No, father arranged it," he responded curtly, a curl of dread forming in his gut.

"Did she ever talk to you?" the angel asked glancing at him while still gripping the note.

Lucifer swirled the liquid around in his glass. Nausea starting to grow. He reached into his pocket and took one of the pills the doctor at the hospital had proscribed. "Whenever she sensed me in that section of hell.

"And...?" Amenadiel probed gently.

"And what?" Lucifer spat. "You want to hear how she inflamed my hatred of dad for damning us both to hell? How she tried to tempt me with..." He quickly stopped his rant as he felt the hand holding his drink start to shake. He took a deep breath.

Amenadiel's eyes widened. "Tempt you with what? Isn't time you tell me what happened back then? I need to understand, Luci."

Lucifer ignored him pouring himself yet another drink and focusing his whole attention on it.

"Luci?" When he didn't even get a glance he continued. "A lot of rumors swirled around during that time. She must have done something major for father to just cast her out of heaven?"

Lucifer laughed harshly. "You think I don't know what was being said? How everyone including you shunned me? Thinking that my arrogance and will got mum thrown out of heaven. How I wanted more attention from dad and being the favorite wasn't enough. How it was all my fault." A wave of dizziness washed over him.

Amenadiel saw Lucifer falter and was on his feet and by his side in seconds. He took Lucifer's arm and dragged him over to the sofa. He sank into it bowing his head over his legs and taking some deep breaths.

"What did you do to him?" Maze demanded as she came out of the elevator.

Amenadiel looked at her questioningly. "I thought you didn't care?"

A low growl came out of Maze's throat as she sat next to the devil.

The angel cleared his throat. "We were discussing the past and if our mom ever talked to him in hell."

Maze snorted. "She was always trying to guilt him into letting her out."

Lucifer barked, "Enough Maze!"

But she ignored him. "After a while, he go to that part of hell anymore and assigned it to me. She tried a few times but I didn't have any emotional connection to her so she gave up."

She reached over lifting Lucifer's chin. "You need to pull yourself together -- you can't be having anxiety attacks every time she is mentioned."

He tore loose from her glaring, his hand itching to grab her by her throat.

"What happened between you and her? Talk to us maybe it will help you deal with your... feelings," she added the last word disdain dripping from every syllable.