Stay

47

NIALL

Bright lights shine above me, casting a bright shadow over the awaiting crowd. I knew this song off by heart. I've practiced this song enough times to know it by heart. Yet, even though I was confident merely hours before, everything that I practiced drained from my memory, and the anxiety seeped right through me.

Deep breaths became a foreign concept to me. I was anxious - a feeling that I knew all too well. It was a flaw that I despised the most about myself. A feeling that I loathed whenever it struck me.

My hands shook at my sides. The guitar strap felt like it was digging into my shoulder blade - the strap that had brought me so much luck. The guitar strap that was given by my love. There was an uproar of encouraging cheers in the crowd in front of me. A few were shouting my name, encouraging me to start my set.

I looked to the side of the stage, hoping that I could catch one last glance at me lucky charm. The good luck that I needed - aside from my one of a kind guitar strap. Standing to the side, her lips spread out into a cheerful grin, was my girl.

Jones gave me a big thumbs up, wiggling her hips and grinning madly. She mouthed a, "you got this... I love you," and suddenly all of the pent up anxiety that I once was being overpowered with disappeared.

She's the essence of everything that I have dreamt about. I have always known what I wanted in a woman. Brains, beauty, and wit - all the characteristics that made up Evie Jones. She's the epitome of what I've always wanted and it scares me whenever I think about it. The fact that this sexy, smart, beautiful woman loves me... an idiot... was unfathomable. She was unfathomable. But our love... Jesus... our love is everything that I have needed in this hellish life...

My fingers, as well as my brain, are able to play through the entire set. I become lost in the melodies and rhythms. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my acoustic guitar. With each song that I sang, I felt my body ease itself from the pent up tension and nerves. I'm lost in another world - a world only I know of. A safe haven.

And as the crowd cheers, I nod my head, smiling and thanking them. It felt strange... surreal... knowing that these people liked what I had to offer. That they willingly chose to listen to my darkest, deepest thoughts... free of judgment and opinions. It was only about the music to them and I appreciated that the most.

With one last nod and half bow, I walked off stage where Evie waited. She had her arms out, inviting me into them for a long squeeze.

"So good, baby... they love you," she reassured me, like she always does after a gig. I swing my guitar to the side so it no longer is in the way, allowing me to fully wrap Evie in my arms. I squeeze her to my chest, nuzzling my head in her hair.

"Thank you," I mumble against her.

Before I met her, I was a chaotic mess of nervous anxiety. I was unable to perform without the reassurance of lips against my lips, from a girl who willingly gave herself. I knew deep down that Ginny wasn't the girl for me. Sure, she was fit as hell and was willing... we were both lonely, and even though I knew that she felt more for me than I her, I still led her on. I felt like shit... knowing that I did that. I was lonely... in desperate need of some reassurance. She gave that to me and I took it greedily. I regret it now because the one that my soul screamed for was across the hall all this time.

"Let's get a drink, yeah?" I asked her once my guitar was safely put away in my car.

"Sure," agreed Jones. She led us back into the venue and towards the bar. Already sitting there was a Harry.

"Mate - good show tonight. That last song was really good," he complimented, pulling me into a hug. I patted his back before taking a seat on the stool beside him. "Evie, good too see you again."