Stay

33

EVIE

Embarrassment. Complete and total embarrassment was all that I could feel. There was something absolutely mortifying about being turned down by the guy you liked. The way he looked at me when he turned me away to be with someone else kept playing in my mind. Why was I such an idiot? How did I think that he’d want to actually be with me?

But the way his lips felt against mine... how he touched me with so much compassion... his fingers dancing above my hip with an ease of gentleness - I would have sworn he felt the same way. Yet once again, I was proven wrong because let’s be honest: Why would a guy feel anything for me? I wasn’t trying to throw myself a pity party. I really wasn’t but all I could think about was how he said fine and how Niall let me walk away without even giving it a second glance. 

I’m so freaking stupid. 

It’s been at least two weeks since I’ve last seen Niall. I’ve successfully avoided him since our make out session on his couch. Even though he’s been relentless with his text messages and missed phone calls, I’ve done everything in my ability to avoid him. 

I couldn’t see him face to face. I don’t think I’d be able to muster up the courage to look him in the eye and not feel the rejection. This was the exact reason why I didn’t want to like anyone. Relationships... feelings... men... they were all too much work. The pain that came along with it was too much for my heart to handle. 

School was back in session. It had been another big struggle getting back into the swing of things. All I could think about was how my grades dropped in Philosophy. I was only taking four classes (a recommendation from my counsellor, even though I didn’t agree at all). All of the classes being required courses for my teaching degree. Hopefully I would be able to ace all them all. I don’t know if I can handle another failed attempt. 

My Romantic Literature class had just ended. I was walking through the courtyard and towards one of the many food trucks lining the campus. That was one of the many things I loved most about Portland State - their never ending supply of food trucks. 

There was one particular truck that I had recently discovered. It was a juice bar that carried the best green smoothies. Ever since December, my obsession with green smoothies have not gotten any better. If anything, its only become worse. I was addicted to them. 

Rex, my new best friend and the supplier of the green (of the kale variety), was new to the food truck industry. He told me one day, while he was blending my drink, how he was high when he felt the sudden desire to become a juicer. Personally, I was happy with his decision to blend weird vegetables and fruits together... all for $5! It filled me right up and it was delicious. A win-win situation. 

“Evie,” he calls my name as I saunter up to his truck. “What can I get for you my smoothie queen.” 

“The usual please, but I’m thinking instead of almond milk, I’ll try the coconut water,” I tell him as I slip a five dollar bill onto the counter. 

“Going with the co-co water. Good choice,” he nods his head slowly as he reaches for jug of water. I lean against the truck has he goes on with his mixing.

While I wait, I play with my phone. Along with my addiction to green smoothies, I have also suddenly become entranced by the world of Candy Crush. Yes - I know, I’m late to the game but oh my gosh, I’m into it. 

As I’m about to finally beat level fifty-three, (a level I’ve been on for three days straight might I add...) when a hand grabs onto my shoulder. “Ah! No!” I screech as I completely miss the last colour and the whole set blows. “I was so close! Do you not understand how close I was!”