Originality

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

                I've been sitting in the music room with my guitar for an hour. My song journal is open in front of me but the page is still blank. I didn't think it would be this hard to start writing again. There are a million emotions going through me and so much I need to say about what's been happening since I moved here. I just don't know where to start. Ezra is taking me to the studio tomorrow but I didn't want to break down crying like an idiot when I stepped into the studio. I didn't want to be with anybody else when I first tried music again just in case I did break down. The first ten minutes spent in this room again I did break down. After those ten minutes I managed to compose myself, but no ideas came to me anyway.

                I need to write about what happened. I need to write about how I felt. I need to write about my rock bottom. When I was sitting on the floor in my room crying my eyes out or when I was yelling at Lindy for telling the world my secret. I need to write about how it used to be too. How I used to sit outside watching nature for hours, but now I cannot even name the last time I sat outside because I wanted to. I need to write about all the secrets I've been keeping. I need to reveal them like I revealed them to my parents and to Ezra. After another 15 minutes a thought came to me and I started writing. The words flowed freely when I knew what I was writing about. I picked up my guitar and after two hours I had a full song. I decided to record it on my computer quickly before I forgot it.

Keeping secrets,

I can't help it,

please don't tell me,

this is my life.

What happened to the trees?

What happened to the air?

Why do all these lights,

hurt my head so damn bad?

What happened to me?

What did I do?

I just can't see,

who's looking at me.

Keeping secrets,

I can't help it,

please don't tell me,

this is my life.

Keeping secrets,

I can't help it,

don't let me do this

this is not my life.

I miss the trees,

I miss my garden,

I miss the peace,

I miss being me.

Keeping secrets,

that's not me.

Keeping secrets,

please help me.

Keeping secrets,

I can't help it,

please don't tell me,

this is my life.

What happened to me?

What did I do?

Please pick me back up,