Explanation

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Genre: angst

TW: overdosing, drowning, intrusive thoughts, suicide attempt

Characters: Grian, Xisuma, basically the entirety of Hermitcraft

Inspired by the song Our Word from 36 Questions

Not my best work but I guess it passes

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Grian was standing awkwardly in front of everyone on the server. He felt really uncomfortable as they were looking at him, awaiting an explanation.

Just a week ago he did something that made everyone worried and now he had a chance to tell his side of the story. Everyone already knew the brief explanation given by Xisuma who saved him from his inevitable death. He was almost pressured to get infront of the hermits as they all demanded details.

"S-so..."

His breath hitched. He felt his hands shake, but he pushed it all down with a few bigger breaths.

"As you all may know, a few days ago I had to be.. saved. I almost passed out in my own bathtub," he begun. He saw all eyes on him, he carried on. "You probably want an explanation..." He recieved a few nods and quiet 'yeah's.

"In reality, you really could call it a suicide attempt..."

The crowd gasped. A few people already had tears building up in their eyes.

"But Grian... Why..?" Mumbo asked, him being the closest to the avain and already blaming himself for not noticing signs.

"Let me start from the beggining... I always had that little voice inside my head that listed all of my insecurities. Everyone has it. But recently, it just got louder and more intrusive... I started believing it I guess... The voice quickly turned into daily headaches with bad mood to accompany it. I tried to take  some painkillers, but they didn't help much. Untill a few days ago I popped a few too much, I just couldn't seem to get my mind right. I thought a cold bath would help, but," he took a deep breath, the memories of the event still hurt. "I realised I couldn't keep my head above water and at a final attempt of saving myself I typed >>help<< to X. I... Wasn't really expecting to be saved..."

Most of the hermits were crying at this point. The ray of sunshine, the beam of energy, the pesky bird himself was willing to die, at his own hands nontheless.

"Grian... Let us help. Please. You can talk to any of us. We will all listen," the admin spoke in a soft voice, it being unusal for him as he often was heard solving the server's problems or laughing at other hermits' antics.

"I know X it's just hard to open up sometimes..."

"Hey, everyone has bad days sometimes! Even me, and my surname is literally Goodtimes!" Scar said, bringing a few weak smiles out.

"And you don't always need to open up, we can just talk or prank people to make you feel better," Pearl added, a mischevious spark in her eye. "Pearl I swear if you start using >>making Grian feel better<< as an excuse for pranks," Impulse said, now everyone at least snorting at the remark, even Grian.

"Thank you guys, I really couldn't have asked for a better family," Grian said softly.

"Awww, come here you dork!" Scar hugged him and everyone took the lead.

Grian finally felt at peace after fighting a long battle with himself. Now he knew he wasn't alone.

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