I know I probably should stop asking this question but I just can't help it. What would Loretta Devine want with a guy like Jeff Stinco? He was a nobody. How did she know his name? This was probably one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to him. If she wanted to date somebody old enough to be her grandson, he had another thing coming to her. Jeff is not that kind of guy and he would never stand for it.
Jeff took himself a nap and woke up five hours later. He felt a huge wave of pain shoot through his body. He walked over to the bathroom and discovered how extremely bloody he was, by pulling his shirt up to reveal his bruised up stomach. He later searched for alcohol and decided to rub all of the alcohol into his bruised up stomach. He pulled up his shirt a little bit more and saw something way more bloodier than his own stomach: his ribs, which was opened up with extreme gore inside of it.
"Broken ribs? Aw, great." Jeff thought to himself, immediately shocked at his broken ribs.
Jeff went around the house and began to clean things up, while he was super bloody from his broken ribs. He swept up all the broken glasses and bottles and threw them out into the trash can. He noticed one of his neighbors was outside watering their lawn. He quickly went to turn around and tried to walk back into his house.
"Jeff! Are you alright? I heard about what happened!" Mrs. Ho shouted out to him.
She was the neighbourhood gossiper. Always in everyone's business.
"Yes, I'm fine, Mrs. Ho. Somebody invaded my house while I was asleep. I seriously don't know what the hell happened, but something is up in my house." Jeff explained back to her.
Mrs. Ho discovered how bloody he was by pulling up his shirt and seeing his broken ribs.
"GODDAMMIT, JEFF!" Mrs. Ho shouted at him, after seeing his broken ribs. She also had hollered at him in Korean.
"I don't know who did this to me, I feel like it was like a bomb planted and put into my stomach!" He said then walked away, before she can try to start yelling at him more in Korean.
Jeff went to his house and started vomiting. The blood on his body is still there. He's still bleeding.
After he spent the whole day cleaning his house while bleeding and trying to fix up the blood coming out of his ribs, Jeff decided to put more rubbing alcohol into his system but it doesn't do anything. He then heard a knock on the door.
He walked over and opened it to see...
LORETTA FUCKING DEVINE!!!!!
"Hey baby!" Loretta said as she giggles through Jeff's house.
"Don't you 'hey, baby' me! Get your pig hands off of me," he said in an angry way.
"Where is the, oh right, I haven't even introduced myself! I'm Loretta Devine, let's have some fun, Jeffy boy!" she said, busting into his broken ribs hugging him. Jeff began to start whining out groans.
"My name is Jeff. If I may ask, why are you here?" he asked. "And also, why are you hugging into my bleeding body?" he whimpered to her.
"Oh! I came to see if you were alright! You seemed a bit shaken up. Are you okay, baby? Honey?" Loretta said with concern and worry written all over her face.
"Oh I'm fine thanks. I'm just cleaning up the house before I leave." Jeff said, trying to drop hints that Loretta should leave out of his house.
"Oh, I could help you right now, baby!!!!!" Loretta said excitedly, tumbling into the ground with Jeff.
"I am bleeding, it hurts, stop it, girl!" Jeff screamed at Loretta as she still has her overweight body on his already bleeding and broken ribs. She started frenching on him and he runs away from her, trying to go upstairs.
