PRECIPICE [h.s.]

Chapter Thirty Eight

☽☽☽

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

☽☽☽

Harry's P.O.V.

November 1st 1997

Note to self - Next time I plan on driving two teenage girls home from a party, bring ear plugs. Or don't give them control of the radio.

Even if I insisted on controlling the radio or playing a CD we burned together, Alice would have taken over. Not that I can really blame her. Normally we listen to whatever I want, which is 'whatever is on the radio' mixed with the additional play of the CD I never take out of my player. I haven't since Jaime gave it to me for my "birthday" and put it in my car. I will be driving when she changes to the CD player, and I don't have it in me to stop her. I tell myself that it is because I don't want to be distracted when driving, but really I know that protesting will cause questions I don't feel like answering.

I would say she is starting to come around on the Billy Joel songs. It's nearly impossible not to be transported when the beginning chords of She's Always A Woman start to play. But I get through it. I have time.

The other day Alice mentioned that there was some big senior year party she wanted to go to but knew her dad would never let her. I suggested the classic, "tell him you're at a friend's and sneak out," but neither she nor her friend Maddie had a car they could use. So I told her I'd take them. This is her moment. She's only eighteen, but I know how easy it is to get lost in "adult world," getting locked into a routine and forgetting that you're allowed to have a life. I doubt she'll have a bunch of coworkers her age forcing her to get out of the house and party.

Rarely, does she get a chance to think about what she wants, and because of that, I don't think Alice really knows who she is. But picking her up tonight, it was easily the happiest I have ever seen her. She walked out of the house laughing and clinging onto Maddie.

It's almost two am, but they are as bright and bubbly as if it's two pm. I picked them both up from Maddie's earlier and then dropped them at this house party. Alice asked me if I wanted to come in, but I told her I really didn't want to spend the night with a bunch of high schoolers, and it would be weird if I did go in. A weird look passed over her face. She didn't have to say a word, I could read the marathon of her thoughts as I was waiting for them at the finish line.

The mention of our age difference made her uncomfortable. The fact that I reminded her she was still in high school made her angry. She still wanted to hang out with me even if people thought it was weird.

I kept my face neutral, but I knew she understood me just by looking at her.

Alice and I often exist in our own bubble. Three years is not a big age gap and when we're in a large ballroom with people our parents' age, naturally we cling to each other. Partially out of habit, but mostly because we're drawn to one another. But on larger scales, I need to draw boundaries. Maybe for her it's cool for her to have an older dude watching over her. But going to a high school party with a bunch of people I don't know? No thanks. It's important to set boundaries. She needs to have her own experiences. Make memories with different people. I'm selfish enough with her time.

Maddie is passed out asleep in the back seat while Alice stares out the passenger window. I keep thinking she's asleep but every once in a while she'll turn or play with her nails. Like she can't sleep because something is eating her. With the way she is talking I am trying not to concentrate on how much alcohol she consumed tonight. I'm not naive to think it's 0.