cradle to grave

oh shit

Louis's pov

Shit

Shit

Shiiiittt!!!

"Zayn i..." I start but zayn's not even looking at me.

"Liam, could um...I need to get out of here for a bit" Zayn says to liam.

Liam rushes to zayn's side as if he's injured or something, "I'll just get you a change of clothes then we can go?" Liam tells him.

"Sure" Zayn says, but still follows liam to his bedroom.

I don't know what to say, I didn't do anything wrong. But I've hurt my best friend and I don't know how to fix it.

So I'm just kind of staring at where liam and Zayn were standing when I feel someone's hand on my shoulder.

I startle a bit and turn around to find harry frowning at me, "uuum sorry did you say something?" I ask.

"No, you were kinda frozen for a second so..." he shrugs, not finishing his sentence.

"Right well, I just broke my best friends heart so. I'm not really sure what the right reaction is here" I tell him not meeting his eyes.

"Hey no, look at me. It's okay..." He's cut off by liam and zayn walking out of zayn's bedroom.

I walk towards them, already  rumbling through my apology "Zayn wait...I need to explain atleast please, I didn't mean to hurt you"

"I know that lou, I just need a day. To just, I need to be away from you for a bit so I don't end up saying things that are hurtful and unfair. Cause you giving harry a chance, i know you didn't do that with the intention to hurt me.  I'll be happy for you guys, I promise. I just need to not be here" Zayn tells me, sounding more put together than I feel right now.

"Right yeah ofcourse, you guys can take the car?" I offer, not sure if being in my car will upset him or not.

"Was already planning on doing that babes, uuum...I mean mate, anyways... gotta" he gestures towards liam with his thumbs.

Liam immediately moving to Zayn's side, and putting his hand on his lower back. Leading him towards the door.

I don't even bother watching them walk out, I go to the couch and throw myself on it.

"Lou" Harry says crouching down next to me.

"I need a nap harry", I tell him not bothering to look up.

"That's okay, but maybe you can do that in bed?, so we could cuddle..." he says, a second away from adding a please.

"Please..." Well maybe two seconds away.

I get up, and reach out for his hand so I can pull him up.

I pull up the duvet on my unmade bed, getting in and waiting for harry to get in after me.

We lay there, my arms wrapped around him. And we don't say anything, and I think maybe he's going to start the conversation but he doesn't.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I understand that this is important to you. To us, and that what happened in there kind of put a damper on things. But it doesn't change anything" I tell him.

He turns around to look at me, "really?, that's... yeah I was scared that maybe you'll change your mind to avoid hurting Zayn. Or something" he mumbles.

"No, I mean I hate that I hurt him. But he found out in a way I wouldn't have wanted him to, I'd have liked to have had a conversation with him. But unfortunately that did happen, but I would never purposely hurt you just to make someone else feel better"

"Cause you love me?" Harry asks, dimples on full display.

"Mmmh, it's cause I love you" I say, ruffling his hair.

"Are.you. inlove .with.me?" He says, punctuating each word by poking my chest with his finger.

"Don't push it kitten" I tell him, giving him a brief kiss on the forehead. "Now let's take that nap yes?"

"Yes daddy"

I chuckle at that, this one is going to be a handful.

***

Zayn hasn't come back for three days, but liam gets back to fetch some of their clothes and in that time.

Me and harry have been inseparable, falling into step as a couple has been easier than I could ever have imagined.

He's sitting on my lap.
We're having breakfast, before he goes to uni and I go to work.

"So what we having for dinner then?, cause if last night proved anything. It's that you haven't learned to cook in the past five years" Harry says.

"We could order some pizza? Or maybe go out to eat", I tell him.

"Like a date?" He asks hopeful.

"Baby, it's the middle of the week. I wanted our first date to be on Saturday. That way we wouldn't have to deal with having to wake up the next day" I explain to him.

"That's very thoughtful of you daddy, but i think.. I'll still dress up and look good even if you say it's not a date. So take me somewhere nice yeah?" He's shifted on my lap, so he could look at me.

"Are you trying to trick me into going on a date, even though I've already told you our first day will be Saturday?"

Harry pouts, "nooo, but..."

I click my tongue, "no buts, we're having pizza tonight.  Cause you don't listen"

He huffs, and turns back to his bowl of cereal.

"Harry..."  I start, sternly.

He ignores me.

"If you don't want to spend all day unable to sit properly during your lectures, you will answer me when I talk to you"

"Okay" he says reluctantly.

"Is this how you want to start the day?, upset with your boyfriend?" I ask him.

And immediately he turns around to grin at me, "boyfriend?!"

I look at him puzzled, "uuum, yes harry. Why are you surprised?"

"No, it's just that you haven't actually used that word. Been sort of stuck on, I'm giving us a chance purgatory" Harry explains.

"Well i mean, I did eat you out last night" I point out.

"Yeah, to take my mind off the fact that you can't cook" he explains, with a shrug.

"That, that is outrageous" I say, mock offended.

He stares at me, "oh is it?" He deadpans.

I roll my eyes, "we gotta go, or we'll be late" I say, tapping his thigh as a signal that he should get up.