Secret smile

60

Derek was going to be back soon. She was sitting in their bed, she was pretty sure that at this point it was categorized as their bed because she was in it all the time. And she was waiting for him because he had seemed like he had been in a perfectly good mood when he had left to take Grace for a walk. But she was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be in a good mood today.

It had been three years since the accident. She had been thinking about it, but hadn't wanted to say anything to him. They were happy. They were really happy, and she didn't want to ruin it. She realized this made her selfish, but she liked happy Derek. She loved the Derek who played with Gracie and tickled her during movies and looked at her like she was amazing and...something special. And she was pretty sure he must have remembered. His wife had died. And more importantly, Sarah had died. There was no way he would forget about that, even if he seemed completely happy. He had to know what today was and he was probably just doing what she was doing, trying to be happy because it was really nice to be happy. He knew what today was.

Which meant the thing she really wanted to happen, the thing that had gotten interrupted yesterday, well, that was probably not going to happen. She had figured after his mom had left, they would get back to the sex but...he had made dinner and cuddled with her instead, his arms wrapped tightly around her while Grace rested on his legs. And she did want to have sex with him. Badly. But having sex with him today felt...wrong or something. Or not wrong but wanting to have sex with him...that was probably wrong. Even if he was doing okay today, sex would probably be too much for him. Which was okay. Tomorrow would be a different day so she could wait and she got it. She was just happy that he was breathing and living like normal. He had gone to work and had a good day. And now he was walking the dog and when he got home they could watch a movie or something.

She turned the page to her book and tried to ignore the need that basically lived in her all the time. Derek was great in bed. She remembered that. He was great in bed and the way he had been looking at her lately...she was pretty sure he was thinking really dirty thoughts. He had basically had a constant hardon, but she wasn't going to think about that. She wasn't going to think about sex.

"We're back," Derek's voice interrupted her thoughts as the door swung open and Grace ran in.

"Hey," she smiled widely at him, watching as Grace drank eagerly at her water bowl. "Good walk?"

"Very," he grinned. "Though some squirrels may never be the same again."

"She was chasing squirrels?"

"She was," he smiled proudly.

"And Mark called her a coward," she giggled.

"Show how little Mark knows."

"Definitely," she smiled, putting her book down to lift Grace up on the bed. "You didn't hurt any squirrels did you, Gracie?"

"She's not quite that brave."

"Well, that's good. The last thing we need is her dragging in dead animals."

"One of the squirrels stopped and looked back at her. Grace whined loudly and ran behind my legs."

"Poor Gracie," Meredith giggled, rubbing Grace's belly.

"I don't think she'll ever be as brave as the other dogs," he laughed softly.

"I think she will. She just...she's getting braver."

"She is."

"She'll be running after squirrels and...raccoons or whatever soon."

"Raccoons?"

"There are raccoons in the woods."

"Yes but they're bigger than her."