I like saying "No", it lowers their enthusiasm (FANFICTION RANT)

Chapter 1: THE MARY SUE

Dear reader, you may be wondering, "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS A MARY SUE???!!". Let me tell you. A MARY SUE IS THE MOTHERFUCKING STUPID INCARNATE OF THE DEVIL ITSELF. Oh, did that not make sense? I'm sorry, let me clarify that. A Mary Sue, when you're talking about literature, especially fanfiction (original stories are NOT excluded*), is a normally female character that is so INFURIATINGLY perfect, has little or no flaws, and is absolutely ODIOUS and DISGUSTING. See Mary-Sue. A female fanfiction character who is so perfect as to be annoying. The male equivlalent is the Marty-Stu. Often abbreviated to "Sue". A Mary Sue character is usually written by a beginning author. Often, the Mary Sue is a self-insert with a few "improvements" (ex. better body, more popular, etc). The Mary Sue character is almost always beautiful, smart, etc... In short, she is the "perfect" girl. The Mary Sue usually falls in love with the author's favorite character(s) and winds up upstaging all of the other characters in the book/series/universe, according to urbandictionary.com. It disgusts me that people would do such a thing. Basically, then, a Mary Sue is this lucky bitch, sometimes with, I don't know, nine point five billion boys on her tail? Is either super poor or super rich (why can't they ever be middle class???), is very (FLAWLESSLY???) pretty- Or at least skinny- WHY CAN'T SHE BE FAT?? (BUT SHE FUCKING NEVER NOTICES THAT SHE IS???), is insecure about herself, and some moronic motherfucking whoreson of a boy helps her build her fucking self confidence. WHAT A LOAD OF BULLCRAP. To people who create Mary Sues, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING STILL HERE????? We all know that writers create Mary Sues because they're portraying themselves in a luckier, prettier, perfect-er, more glamorous version. It's because the writer is this needy, whiny biatch who wishes SHE had five thousand boyfriends, because COME ON, HOW DOES A GIRL GET SO MANY BOYS IN REALITY, AND NOT BE ABLE TO DECIDE WHICH ONE TO GO OUT WITH???? Wow. A REALLY good example of a Mary Sue, is Elsa in Frozen. Yes, I hate Frozen, because it' the most overrated movie ever made, and because Elsa is this whiny, classic damsel-in-distress girl that halfway through the movie I punched my computer screen, and said "SOMEONE FUCKING LIGHT THIS BITCH'S FACE ON FIRE." Let's evaluate her.

Mary Sue #1:

Name: Elsa (once there was a cafeteria lady in my school called Elsa- according to her name tag, LOL!)

Appearance: Blue eyes, white blonde hair (WHY DO ALL PRETTY GIRLS HAVE BLUE EYES AND BLONDE HAIR???!!), skinny (obviously, 'cause people like discriminating against fat people!), AND OBVIOUSLY SHE HAS TO BE PRETTY?? (Once I asked my mom's colleague's three-year-old daughter why she was obsessing over Frozen SOOO much and she said, *does mock whiny baby voice* "Because Elsa's pretty!" UGH. This is the reason why I hate babies and toddlers.)

Traits: SHE HAS FUCKING ICE POWERS???!! (Totally a rip-off from Avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra, GREAT JOB, DISNEY). Randomly sings stupid songs**- TYPICAL FROM DISNEY. OH, AND SHE'S A FUCKING QUEEN.

Personality: FUCKING SCARED OF HERSELF, DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, OVERALL MARY SUE, ABSOLUTE SELFISH BITCH, GIVES NOT A DAMN FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE OR EVEN HER FAMILY- She neglected her younger sister, and you never see her crying over her parents dying (Oh, I forgot this: HAVING DEAD PARENTS IS A MARY SUE TRAIT***.)

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See what I mean?

* *cough cough* Bella Swan *cough cough* Twilight *cough*

**Seriously, "Let it Go" was the worst song I've ever heard, and I'm not hating it because little kids sing it at the top of their lungs all the time (well, maybe that's part of it...). I've actually hated it since I first heard it when I watched the movie. It was total bullshit.

***A Mary Sue typically has an overly dramatic sob-story, to make the reader sympathize with it <-- bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

A/N: 

I've only covered basic, general Mary-Sues, and there's actually a whole shitload of sub-types out there, so I may be posting another chapter on different Mary-Sue types. Thanks for reading, and let me know if there's anything I should add.