things change - byler

.4

the same night ~

Mike was watching Miami Vice in the living room, I could see him from the kitchen as I was helping my mom cook. Jonathan was at work, and hopper should be back from his business trip any day now. So it was just us four. I kept on zoning out and looking at him, how could he care so much to get me something like that? he's never even bought el anything over like $20 dollars. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. About him. I've never been into the idea of dating a girl, ever since I was a little kid. I knew I liked mike. Ever since I was 12. he was my best friend, we were so close. It was the best time of my life. But now, he got a girlfriend. And the way he used to look at me, he now looks at el the same way. And doesn't with me anymore, but now, things are feeling... different. It doesn't even seem like he has a girlfriend anymore. I mean, of course he does. But it doesn't feel like it anymore. all day today, we were talking like we used to. Like nothing ever changed, like we we're still the close best friends we used to be. And I almost forgot what that feeling felt like, until today. I feel like I'm-

-"Will? Are you listening?" my mom waved her hand in my face.
-"huh, what? Sorry." my face turned red, when I realized I was still looking at mike. At least his back was still turned to me.
-"I said could you get me the salt?" She repeated.
I walked over to the other cabinet and grabbed the salt shaker, and gave it to my mom.
I stopped thinking about mike, and never really realized he left the room when we were setting the table up.
-"where's mike?" She asked.
-"not sure, he was here a minute ago." I tilted my head.
-"El! Mike! Dinners ready!" Joyce yells.
after a few moments, they never responded.
i sigh, walking upstairs to the top floor of my house, to get El. As I was about to knock on the door when I heard her talking to someone.. she sounded upset. The more I listened, I realized she was talking to Mike. couldn't stop myself from eavesdropping.

-"what is wrong with you, mike?" she scoffs.
-"what's wrong with me? What's up with you?" He asked, defensively.
-"you've changed, mike. Really, did you find another girl back home or something?" She accused.
-"no! Of course not! What is this? What are you talking about?"
-"ever since I moved, you've been acting weird. you have been dry when I call, you never start conversation, I always call first, and you don't even love me anymore!"
-"that's not true!" he defended with a tone.

I knew I shouldn't be listening in, but I really couldn't resist. It felt wrong of me. But I had to know what was going on.

-"you used to tell me all the time that you loved me! before I lost my powers and before I moved. but then I told you I loved you back and it's like something shifted in your mind. Is that what it is? Because I lost my powers? Am I not cool enough to be your girlfriend because I'm not a 'superhero' anymore." She mocked sarcastically.
-"what? How could you even say that? You really think that's the reason?" He asked, shocked.
-"so it's true?? You don't love me anymore?" Her voice cracked.
-"no, I never said I didn't!" He replied.
-"then say it." she said softly.
-"say what?"
-"that you love me!" she shouted, making me step away from the door.

i had to stop this, I didn't want to listen anymore. I knocked on the door softly.

-"yeah?" Mike answered through the door, sounding stressed.
-"dinners ready." I said, softly.

I didn't listen to what they were saying anymore, I felt to guilty. I walked down the stairs and sat down at the table with my mom. After a few moments they both came down too. el looked upset, I could see she had been crying but tried hiding it. Mikes face was pale, he looked upset and embarrassed as well. Was it true? Did he really not love her anymore? I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense. he wasn't showing as much affection as he used to back in Hawkins. things did seem different. I felt bad for El, she hasn't been happy here. mike made her feel happier, what if it all was a lie? What if mike secretly didn't love her anymore? And just didn't want to tell her? I couldn't be mad at him either, he can't help it if he does or not. I felt guilt for the both of them. They both were silent all night. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if they knew I heard what they said.

•••

that night, as I was getting dressed in my pajamas, I heard a knock on my door. I quickly pull my plain white shirt on.
-"come in." I said.

mike peaked through the door a little, looking nervous.
-"can I sleep in here, on the floor, tonight?" He asked.
I had to act surprised, like I didn't know why he was avoiding el.
-"why? i thought-"
-"El and I, we had a fight." He said, he looked like he was trembling a bit. Like he was.. scared. I motioned him to come in and sit down next to me, which he did on my bed.
-"what happened?" I asked.
-"I don't know, it's hard to explain. It's like.. after you guys moved, everything changed. El and I, we've kissed before. So many times, but the last time we did before you guys left.. she had told me she loved me back. And.. I don't know. Things just felt different. Like.. the spark I used to feel when we would kiss just wasn't there anymore. I hate saying that, it makes me feel and sound like a bad boyfriend. But.. I feel bad when I can't give her the response she wants. It's like I'm lying to her, and I hate myself for it. And if I tell her how I really feel, I'm afraid she'll hate me. I don't want that."
-"it's not your fault, Mike. If you don't feel the same way anymore, you should tell her. You can't help the way you feel, or don't feel. even if she doesn't like the truth, it's the right thing to do. I know, it's scary. But I can tell you right now, she won't hate you. She cares about you very much. She'd want you to be happy."
-"you really think so?" He chuckled, looking at me.
-"yeah, I really do. But you don't have to tell her now, just get some rest and think about it tomorrow." I smiled.
-"thanks, Will." He smiled, brightly.

I nodded, as he set his pillow and blanket on the floor and sat down.
I turned my side lamp off, still sitting up.
-"good night, will." He whispered.
-"goodnight mike." I smiled, before turning around towards the wall.

I almost felt bad for him having to sleep on the floor, I wasn't sure it was very comfortable. I almost wanted to ask if he wanted to come up with me. But stopped myself, that would be weird. My bed isn't even big enough for the two of us, it would be really awkward. At least my floor was carpet instead of wood like the other bedrooms are.
i slowly fell asleep, listening to the rain pour onto the roof and drip down my window helped me sleep faster.
It's such a peaceful sound.