Something that changed everything

°16•Time means everything

Ian

Earlier:

Ever since I heard the baby’s heartbeat, I did not doubt that I wanted to be a father. Up until that moment, I told Viola that I’ll be there for her with whatever she would need of me. It was the right thing to do. Yesterday that specific moment had sealed the deal for me.

But then I received a phone call that would crumble our world. Sandra called my house in the middle of the night. My mother woke me up, telling me that I had to hurry and go to Viola’s house. She didn’t have to tell me twice.

I saw the bed. Viola had lost a lot of blood. Since we waited for the ambulance to come and pick her up in my arms bride's style. I brought her to the bathroom to clean her a little. She hasn’t uttered a single word. She was like a poppet. She moved only when I guided her. It was like she was there without being there.

For now, I let her be. She would talk to me when she would be ready. If I push her, I’m scared that she will pull further away.

I hope that we didn’t lose the baby.

I realized then that it could happen. I was so wrapped up about Viola that it hadn’t occurred to me that we could lose it.

At the hospital, when the doctor stepped inside the room, Sandra and I took each of Viola’s hands to give her the support that she needed. My heart breaks when Dr. Peppermint dais that Viola had lost the baby.

I had to breathe so Viola wouldn’t see how this affected me. I stepped outside just in time as a tear fell on my cheek. I had to remain strong. She needs me. She will need my strength. I counted to three before I decided to return to her.

After we left the hospital and went to her home, she surprised me when she told her mother that she wanted to sleep at my house. She wasn’t ready to go back to her room where it all happened.

I offered my hand for her to take. I saw the hesitation in her eyes. I frowned at her reaction, but it was best not to say anything. Even if I did, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I turned around to walk ahead.

I stopped walking when I heard her calling my name. She ran to me and I felt relieved when she took my hand.

When I opened the door at my house, I wasn’t surprised to see my mother in her bathrobe waiting for us. Even with what happened, I smiled as I saw my mother comfort, Viola, as brought her into her arms.

That night she fell asleep in my arms, crying. I couldn’t believe that she thought that I wanted to sleep with her right after she lost our baby. Even if we could, I would have never put that kind of pressure on her.

I love her.

Now:

Waking up, hearing my alarm get off. I automatically search for Viola. I opened my eyes, feeling the bed empty beside me.

I look around and then I see her already dressed. As if she was ready to go somewhere.

“Viola, why are you up? Come back to bed.” I try.

She shakes her head. “No time. I’m going to school.”

I title my head to the side. “I don’t think it was right now. Are you sure you are ready to go?”

“Last time I checked, It’s a school day.” She snaps at me as if I said something wrong.

I clear my throat. “You just had a miscarriage. I don’t think you are ready.”

Viola folds her arms in front of her. “Thank you for the reminder.”

I get up from the bed. As I try to take her hand she pulled it away from me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to update you. I understand…”

“Understand!” She interrupts me. “You can’t understand what I’m feeling. It happened to me. My body still thinks I’m pregnant. How can you understand how I’m feeling? You don't want to go to school, fine! Stay, see if I care. I’m going!”

“Viola!” I try, but she was already gone.

How the fuck did things get out of hand? I have to go after her to try, to make things better. I have to make sure that she’s fine even if she’s upset with me. I already lost our baby. I’m not going to lose her too.

I run down the stairs after I put some clothes on. “Mom! Did you see Viola leave the house?”

She takes my hand, guiding me to the sofa. “Sit and breathe, darling. You need to breathe.”

I stand still. “Mom, I can’t, I have to go after her.”

She makes me sit on the sofa. “How do you expect to help her if you can’t take care of yourself? Calm down. You know where she’s going. You need to have a clear mind.”

I mess with my hair in frustration. “She told me that I couldn’t understand what she was going through. I also lost the baby, mom.”

“Ian, you know she didn’t mean it that way.” She let out a sigh. “Her body is still hormonal. She still feels that she’s pregnant even if she no longer is. You have to be patient with her. She will be back to you. Time is everything.”

“I don’t think I will be able to lose her too.”

“Time, Ian. Give her time.”

I nod as I get up to go to school. If Viola won’t talk to me, I will go to her. I will keep my distance, giving her the time that she will need. I would look at her from afar just to be sure. She’s my world. I would do anything for her. We will get through this together. As it should be.

Vote & Comment