Roomies {Harringrove}

Day Twenty-One

Steve woke up and immediately remembered... Everything. His eyes lit up for a moment, then he turned and realised Billy wasn't even in bed. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He was so embarrassed. How the hell had he lost so much control that he'd blindly told the blonde about his silly, strange little crush on him? Billy was probably mortified. Maybe he even hated him. He felt his body begin to lock into panic and reached for his talkie, realising he needed to talk to someome.

"Robin...?"

"Christ, Harrington, it's the early AMs right now what the fu-"

"I kissed him."

"What?"

"Billy. I... I kissed him. And he kissed me."

"Oh? Wow. I... Billy Hargrove huh? We gays really are everywhere heh, I'm so happy for you!" Steve bit his lip. He'd felt happy too, at first. Then he started to think about how his family would feel. How society would react. The Church, the ministers... He suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

"How do you do it? How do you... Live as you are, knowing that there's people who will never accept it? Even the people closest to you?"

"Oh. Well... To be honest? The day I let go of the Church was also the same day I fully accepted myself. It wasn't a matter of getting accepted by others. It was a matter of knowing that I am perfectly okay as I am. There is nothing wrong with me. Or you, buddy. We just feel how we feel and if they don't like it they can suck ass."

"Yeah, they can eat our farts."

"Gross but yes, exactly. How did kissing him make you feel? Not anyone else. Just you."

"It felt... I felt... I like him way too much. It's kinda scary. But scary in a good way. I honestly can't believe it took me this long to do it."

"Well then, great! Can't believe you're only just realising your sexuality and you've already got yourself a person. I've known for years, where's my pretty lady to swap saliva with? Goddamn universe never gives a girl a break."

"I'm sorry. But I gotta go. I think Billy and I need to talk. And I need to apologise. Like a lot."

"Apo- I thought we were making progress, you fucking idiot, you did nothing wrong and he kissed you back so he obviously likes you too-"

"You don't know that." He could tell from her growl in response that he was about to get lectured so, with a quick "love you bye" he put down the device and cautiously headed up to the surface. Billy paid him no mind at first, his eyes glued to the dish spinning slowly in the microwave. Then Steve coughed and he looked up, a deep hollowness in his eyes that made Steve feel like he'd been punched in the gut.

He tried to hide it, putting on a smile for his roommate and batting out a quick greeting. Steve gulped but pushed on because Billy had been right all along. They needed to talk things out and he was going to make it happen, no matter how ashamed he felt.

"I did the soft thing. You... Made me do the soft thing."

Billy couldn't help but arch a brow at him. His tone sounded almost accusatory despite how weak his voice was, like he was trying to be angry but the stronger emotion there was confusion. He didn't quite understand it himself but he'd always known Steve was a gentle guy so he wasn't sure what the big deal was. He'd enjoyed every second of it and didn't hesitate to say that to his face, pausing when Steve shook his head with red in his cheeks.

"Is something wrong...?"

"I basically switched to baby mode in front of you. Even asked you to read a bedtime story. And you're... Not mad?"