Angel Face

Forty Four

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a couple days, I've been really busy!
Enjoy <3

23rd June 2014

Harper

It was the second week in and I could feel a cold coming on. Harry had unfortunately returned back to tour, his fans were enraged that he'd missed a show but his management covered it up with 'personal problems'.

It was the biggest morning of my life - well, it felt like it. Today I'd be on Good Morning America. I was in hair and makeup by 6am and I wanted to just fall back to sleep.

After that was outfit options before a briefing with Samantha who had thankfully flown out to me. She told me what to say, what not to say, topics to avoid, what to expect.. it was a lot to take in.

I was then given breakfast before meeting the hosts. They were nice, really smiley, too smiley for 7:30am but at least they were nice.

9:30am was my time slot. A short twenty minute interview with one break in between... that's a lot of talking.

I had a bit of time before it was time for me to head out towards the waiting area so I checked my twitter, I don't usually do this but I was interested in what people were saying about me appearing on the show.

Wow Harper Fletcher's famous enough for GMA?? I guess dating Harry Styles has it's perks

Oh no another brit thinking she's important on GMA today

The only reason Harper's even famous is because of Harry

I don't care about Harper but if she's talking about Harry I may as well watch

Harpers pretty but I think she's a bit of an airhead

I hope harpers interesting

Harper Fletcher = gold digger who got a career from it

I guess I'll watch Harper on GMA to see if she messes up

Oh Jheez America are you ready for Harper because i'd prefer her to stay in the UK

Harper Fletcher is pretty #thatsall

Apparently Harper Fletcher is only on GMA this morning so it's already a bad day

Oh god I hate Harper Fletcher

It was a little hard to digest the comments, they weren't just young girls, grown men and women too. No pressure, Harper.

When it was time for me to go on I was sat in my chair before a hair stylist, a stylist and makeup artist all brushed me off and made sure everything was where it should be.

Then it was time.

"Good morning everyone and welcome back, this morning we have a special guest all the way from London, England, the angel face herself, Harper Fletcher."

The hosts turn to me and I smile. "Hello,"

"It is so great to meet you Harper, how is America treating you?"

"Really well, I've enjoyed it so much so far."

"Have you been enjoying the food?"

I smile. "America has some great delicacies."

"So, you're a brand new fresh face on the modelling scene. How does it feel to be so hot right now?"

"It's daunting and scary and I'm learning everyday, but I love it." I answer honestly. "There's a lot to do, places to go, but I wouldn't change it for anything."

"You've been dubbed with the nickname angel face, how does that feel?"

"Erm," I chuckle. "I could have worse nicknames,"

"Do you feel a pressure that a lot of women feel in the public eye?"

I shake my head. "My job is all about being confident and sassy, I just want others to feel that way too."

"Now you have a daughter who is only just three. How does she handle it?"

I cross my hands together. "She doesn't really see it yet, I like to shield and protect her from it all, I want her to be as happy as possible."

"So as well as your daughter, you are also in a relationship with Harry from One Direction.. what is his opinion on everything?"

"He's supportive, really supportive."

"How do you two work out your schedules, you're here and he's on a world tour at the minute.."

"Yeah it's more of a planning out when both of us will be home to see the other, but we work with it and we're both happy."

The interview seemed to last for hours and when I was finally able to leave I ran straight off set, past Samantha who was waiting with a grin on her face and shut myself in a little toilet.

Without locking the door I sink to the floor and try to breathe properly.

"Harper? Oh god, Harper?" Samantha was beside me in no time trying to calm me down.

A member of crew appeared in the door and by then my palms were clammy, my body was shaking and I had no way of focussing on what was going on around me. Everything and everyone sounded like they were underwater a million miles away.

"She's having a panic attack!" Samantha exclaims. "Bring water please!" She demands as I continue to erratically breathe.

. . .

I'd never experienced a panic attack, or felt anxious about anything, but I guess it was down to everything that was going on; making sure Sienna is safe and happy constantly, Harry being away, making sure I look okay because paparazzi were constantly there, remembering what I'm doing each day, this cold that's trying to attack my immune system, having hardly any contact with home..

"You okay?" Samantha asks cautiously as she drives me to a radio station I was appearing on.

"Yeah," I sigh sipping the water.

"I can cancel the show, and whatever you want me to if you feel too stressed or-"

"No, no it's fine."

"Harper, people don't have panic attacks for no reason-"

"I don't know why that happened, but I feel fine.. I just want to carry on and forget it,"

"Okay, you just tell me if-"

"I will," I lie. "Promise,"

. . .

So after today I was ready to just sleep. GMA, three radio stations and a casting was enough to make me want to sleep for a week- but I can't.. 6:30am photoshoot tomorrow.

"Hey you," I smile tiredly answering Harry's FaceTime call.

"You had a panic attack?"

"How did you know-"

"Why didn't you call me?"

I roll my eyes. "Harry it was nothing-"

"It wasn't nothing Harper,"

"I'm fine,"

"You aren't fine, you're under too much pressure,"

"I'm not," I lie. "I just had one because I came off GMA a little nervous, I was anxious about going on it I guess."

"You're okay? Why didn't you go home after?"

"Because I was okay, I'm not this fragile little child," I joke.

"I just worry," He sighs.

"Tell me you love me,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too,"

That's all the reassurance we both needed.

"You need to call me in those situations, okay?"

I nod. "It was a one time thing, they won't happen again."

Well, I could only hope.