𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘. 𝚎.𝚔

𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐘

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏

being harder than you anticipated. kirishima ended up becoming harder to interact with or even come across. the more steps you took forward, the more he would step back, and the more frustrated you grew. you thought you had it all figured out, your plan seemingly perfect in your head, but the play had been shattered and distraught, and you were stuck.

your only other option was getting him alone, seeing that your other attempts to get his attention around the class had failed. it had been a week since you and mina settled things, the tension still present, but it was progress, and you were willing to take anything. you decided that that night was the right time to talk to him, and the prep talk you had to give yourself turned out to be longer than you anticipated, but after all the hesitation and second thoughts, you stand in front of his dorm room door.

your free hand grips the side of your shorts, your fist coming to press on the door with no pressure. you pull away but then softly knock, the sound barely even heard passed the door. you listened to no rustling, no call—nothing. your heart sinks, and you exhale, turning to leave when the door creaks open.

a couple of colorful pins pinned back his hair; a sleeping masked propped over his eyebrow while his other eye was slightly covered. his eyes widen, and then he slips the sleeping mask over his head, his hair slightly disheveled from the pull.

"f/n. . hey. wh-what are you doing here?" he rubbed a knuckle over his once-covered eye, a yawn erupting from his lips.

"i just came here to talk, but it looks like you were sleeping. i'm sorry for waking you up, i'm gonna go--"

"no-- hey uh-- it-it's okay. come in, please?" he softly wrapped his fingers around your wrist, the slight tug halting your movements. you nod, the hesitance clearly showing, following him into the all too familiar bedroom. he softly sets you down on his bed, rearranging certain items around his bed as if he was stalling.

he was stalling.

"kiri." he sort of jumps at your voice that invaded the quiet room, but his shoulders slump seconds later.

"sorry-- sorry," he grabs a spinning chair tucked under his desk and brings it to sit in front of you. he clasps his hands together, his thumbs flicking back and forth. you go to stop the jittery movement, but you pause, letting your hand rest on your bouncy knee. you hadn't thought this through, assuming kirishima would push you away again. your thoughts weren't collected enough, and your nerves pricked every second that silence passed.

"uhm-- kiri. . i'm sorry. i came here thinking things would get better between us and i just made it worse by fighting with mina and i-- there's no excuse for it. if i would've known--"

"i'm sorry." you pause from your jumbled ramble, and he slumped against his chair; eyebrows drew, eyes shifted away, mouth open, but nothing coming out. he closed his mouth, straightened out when he heard silence. he slowly cups your hands in his. allowing the touch, you move as close as you could let yourself with your hands only touching.

"i was scared of falling in love again," he dove straight into it, scooting his chair, so your thighs were bumping. you could feel his hands trembling, and you grabbed them to settle his hesitant movements. "i was scared that everything would crumble again, and i would be broken again, so i ran away to the closest thing comfortable to me--"

"mina, yeah?" he nods, his eyes lowering in shame. you lean forward, placing a soft kiss on the scar that slashed through his eyebrow. he sniffles at that, rubbing his thumb against your knuckle.

"i understand, kiri. . i do. i know it was hard for you to pick between something you were accustomed to and something fresh. you had every right to be afraid, but as someone who was practically almost in love with you, i'm telling you that i won't hurt you. . i couldn't even hurt you if i tried." you cup his cheek, the pad of your thumb swiping against the stray tear that slid against his face.

"i'm not telling you to trust me. .i'm only asking for you to give me a chance." he says nothing at that, but a nod from him indicated enough, and you place a kiss on the top of his head before staggering up. your legs felt weak-- you couldn't pinpoint where you started feeling so light, but everything brought together was beyond overwhelming, and the only thing you could do now was wait.

"no rush. .i'll wait." he lets go of your hand, not before placing a gentle kiss on your knuckle. he pushes back, allowing you to shimmy past him. his head remained positioned toward the floor, but you could see the soft shake of his shoulders as he attempted to catch his breath.

you so desperately wanted to walk back to him, bring him on the bed, and allow him to hold you until he couldn't anymore, but what he deserved was space-- what he needed. you couldn't do anything but allow him that choice, as much as it hurt you to leave him in the place he was. you walk out before you regain anything second thought, but a single tear falls from your left eye, then right.

you swipe them away before it became too much, making your way over to the common room couch to reflect. your thoughts were running wild, any and every known possible scenario running through your head. you ponder whether it could've gone better, but you quickly flush the thought away and rewind to the subtle and gentle touches exchanged.

that confirmation itself puts you straight to sleep.

©KUROSH1MA