𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘. 𝚎.𝚔

𝐌𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐒

"𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒—𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆."

he sighs, tilting his head. you completely face him now, his expressions weirdly mixing around.

"it's like, she was this completely different person before we got together, then once we did, she just changed. and— and that hurt. . .a lot." he softly chuckles, his words coming out stammered. your facial features softened, your fingers twitching with emptiness, but it vanished, his fingers locking into yours. you urge him to go on with a soft squeeze.

"she seemed so perfect, so harmless, but behind closed doors it— it was so toxic and heartbreaking and i— i slowly fell out of love. as much as i didn't want to, it was like i was forced into that option." your heart sank at his words, your hand trailing up his back to rub soft circles. that's all you could've done at that moment.

"and then on top of that, she cheated; and i found out in the moment because they really don't know how to be quiet, or maybe they made each other feel so good that i could hear it through my own dorm room." his bottom lip trembles, and you inaudibly gasp, pulling him into you. his head rested comfortably on your collarbone and his body laid in between your legs, a position that seemed revealing, but felt too wholesome to even consider.

"you don't have to talk about it kiri. i know how hard this is." your hands dug into his spiky hair, eventually getting lost into his red assortment. your heart hurt for him. from the way he had spoke about her, it seemed like he was still hung up on her, which hurt. it hurt a bunch, but being a friend also means you needed to be there for someone whenever they needed, and that's what you were there for, initially.

he sniffles, shaking his head. a small pout rested cutely on his face and you were tempted to just kiss that pout away.

self control.

"it's alright, f/n, it was a year ago." you nod, allowing him to continue with a hand entangled in his hair.

"i thought after she did it once, she would stop, but it wouldn't stop. it didn't stop until i eventually broke up with her; four months later." your eyes slightly widen, your hold onto him growing tighter. you believed at the time that holding him would guarantee that he'd be okay, but it would take a lot more than that.

"you must've loved her then. i know i wouldn't have been able to stay if i was in that position." he softly shakes his head.

"no- no i fell out of love. i guess i just believed that if i stayed it would get better. or maybe she would see that i was worthy and all, but she never did. i doubt i was even worthy enough for her." he snuggles even deeper into your body, the warmth becoming unbearable, but you didn't mind one bit because you knew that this would be the closest you could get to him, at the moment at least. you shudder a breath, your chin softly landing on the puff of his hair.

"you're so worthy— no, you're more than that. you're so much more than what you were put through. you're amazing kiri, and you need to know that." he sniffles once more, his body shivering against your own. you grab the blanket that was messily thrown on the bed, wrapping it around his broad shoulders. he seemed to calm down under the heat, but the pout still remained.

"hey. . .you know you're really manly right?" a soft smile rested on your lips as you contain any laughter. his face lifts up and so does his expression, the words sinking in.

"like, you went through all of this and at the end of the day you're still able to keep a smile on your face. i find that really manly, you know?" your eyes were trained on the floor, the words eventually just tumbling out of your mouth, but with his fingers touching your chin, you lift your face up. his eyes were bright and a pleased smile sat delicately on his face. his face was closer than you anticipated, but you couldn't seem to back away.

"you really mean that?" his voice came out as a whisper due to his close proximity, but you nonetheless nod, suddenly intimated with the closeness. you both hadn't noticed when you started moving closer, and he did the same as well. he hadn't realized how close you actually were until he felt your breath hover over his lips, his body abruptly pulling away from yours. you were startled, the daze you were put under eventually fading.

"i'm- i'm so sorry i didn't mean to— uhm- god!" he covers his face in embarrassment and your face wasn't any better, dusted with pink.

oh god oh god oh god.

you couldn't help but freak out. thoughts ran through your brain. you couldn't even process what had happened moments before because those thoughts were intruding your head.

"it's okay! it's okay— i'm sorry i shouldn't have tried to— kiss you or anything that's so out of line." you subconsciously scooted back, adding onto any distance that had already been set in place. the silence was unbearable, the tension thick and foggy, you had never gone through something more awkward.

"i'm just gonna. . .—"

"yeah uhm- i'll see you tomorrow."

you get up, shuffling and stumbling on your way out. you shut the door as quietly as you could, but your heartbeat was louder than anything else, hardly refraining itself from thumping out of your chest.

you took a bigger breath than you anticipated, clutching onto your items tightly as you make your way down the dark hallway back home.

why why why. why did you even attempt that. it was such a vague move that you should've known that he would've pulled away, that he wasn't interested in you like that. he was vulnerable and you took advantage of that.

you feel your throat tighten up with the thoughts, forcing yourself to push them away, but no matter how much you blocked those thoughts, you eventually ended up shedding a few tears in your covers.

©KUROSH1MA