To Love A Lady

Chapter Two

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

...

Allie could not run fast enough back to her room. There was no way that she could push her legs to move at a faster speed. It was ridiculous, but the farther she could get from the breakfast room the better it was for her. She wanted to get away from everyone. From Ruthie and Mr. Livingston. From their happiness, not because she didn't want her sister to have the love that she deserved, but because she simply did not believe that it was real.

She had always known that the day would come that Ruthie would find a husband, but she never thought that her sister would marry for love. Love and affection was something that Allie could not believe in. She had read about it in books and had heard stories of ladies running away with the stable boy, but that was not the reality that she lived in.

Throughout her life, Allie had only ever marriage fail, that it was something hated rather than desired. As a young girl, she knew that she would be expected to marry as a family alliance. That was what was expected from a daughter of a nobleman. She had always thought that it would be the best for her and for her siblings, as they would never have to place their hearts into a marriage that had been bound to fail.

Allie's mother had not a good woman. The late Duchess of Silvermont had died thanks to a generous bottle and what doctors thought could have been a self-inflicted liver condition. Katherine Merriman was not missed by even the likes of her own children and the rumors of her beating them had been nothing but the truth. Katherine had never really been a mother to them.

John Merriman had wanted Kathrine to be a good mother to her children. He had wanted to bring up a happy little family with his wife.

Allie had known that he wanted what was best for them, but she also knew that her mother's constant displeasure with their family had taken its toll on her father. Because of this, Allie had spent most of her childhood fighting the idea he had been upset with her, not her mother, having spent most of his days shut away in his private chambers. Her father had come to the likes of melancholia, but the cure seemed to come in the form of his wife's death.

The way up to her chamber was rather clear and with everyone at breakfast, she was able to move somewhat unnoticed. She could hear footsteps behind her, but she didn't care. How could she?

Allie pulled open the door, shutting it with a slam. Resting her body on the cold wood. She let the tears swell in her eyes. Memories hitting her harder than she cared to admit.

"Momma, come look!" Allie cried, running through the garden with her hands cupped together. "Come quickly!"

The sun shone hot on her skin, as the young Allie played.

"Allison. What do you have?" Kathrine asked, not moving from her spot at the tea table that had been set in the beautiful rose garden.

"You have to come to see, Momma!" She squealed, her lilac dress moving with her as she danced.

"Mother is busy right now. Harper, see what your sister wants." Kathrine placed a hand on her swollen stomach, sighing to herself.

Harper ran over to his younger sister, a wooden horse in his grip.

"Where are my favorites?" John Merriman asked, making his way to the yard of the grand estate.

Allie looked up from her clasped hands to see her father. She loved her Papa more than anyone in her life, though she was only three years of age, he was by far her favorite.