Hate Me, Love Me(GirlxGirl)

Chapter Twenty-Two: When a Bad Hangover Leads to Deadly Consequences

Yes, I'm still alive.

I'm sorry I have been hiatus; I was battling Hoth against the rebel army and help bring forth Luke Skywalker to the Emperor....if you get that reference, I love you.

Haha, anyway, I've been super busy and had little time to write let alone upload. I know you guys have been wanting new chapters but my life is hectic right now. I would put more excuses here but what for. But I greatly appreciate all of you padawans for sticking by me and supporting me even if I've been away for a couple of months.

I wanna hug all of you guys but just high five the screen cuz that's how close we could get lol. Sorry if this A/N doesn't make sense, idk what's going on in my head right now.

But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I love all of you beautiful padawans for sticking by me <3

-Continue being who you are and don't let anyone tell you how to be.

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Hate Me, Love Me:

Chapter Twenty-Two: When a Bad Hangover Leads to Deadly Consequences

I didn't know how much I drank.

I couldn't remember how many drinks were given to me but I realized it was intentional. They wanted me to get to the point of blacking out and that scared me. The fear was slowly crawling up spine, ready to suffocate me as I leaned against the wall. The music was blaring, making me have the worst headache. My vision was blurry as heck and all I could see were figures dancing around me. The room had gotten a hundred degrees hotter and I scratched at the clothing I was wearing, feeling the sweat seep out of my pores. 

The burning taste in my throat reminded me with such cruel guilt that Ivan would be disappointed once I get home. I shouldn't have taken that drink from that girl. I shouldn't had allowed my heart to make my decisions. So, what if Kat was kissing another girl. She could do whatever she want and I didn't have the power to stop her. But even if I agreed with her being her own person and making her own decisions, it didn't stop the dagger twisting in my heart as I was once again reminded of Kat and the other woman kissing. 

I rubbed my face hard, feeling strands of my hair matted with sweat, sticking to my face. I can't remember what I was doing shortly after a couple of drinks but all I knew was that Cynthia was beside me, encouraging me to drink some more. I wanted to go home but I couldn't trust my body. If I moved, I knew the bile I've been swallowing down would come back up again and I won't have a choice but to throw up. I was afraid of this feeling, though. I was afraid of my body going out of control. The alcohol made me feel strange and I didn't like how I swayed, hardly recognizing the people around me. I was afraid that I would have another episode of blacking out. I was more afraid of opening my eyes again. 

I had my first share of a party gone wrong for me and I didn't want this anymore. This wasn't me. I would never see myself drinking and having this fear torment me. I wanted to cry and just call Ivan to come help me from keeping these fears from swallowing me. I should have told Evelyn and Riley that I didn't want to go. This was a bad idea and here I was, tightly gripping the wall and the side of my head, praying for the dizziness to stable itself. Anything could happen tonight and I was afraid of that. 

The one thing that almost made me burst out in tears was that Riley and Evelyn were no different from Celeste and Shirley. Those two hooligans hadn't come to check up on me. Shouldn't friends be keeping an eye on each other when they're at a party? They knew I was inexperience with this type of scene so, why weren't they here to keep me from freaking out?