Falling for the Broken

12: Explanations

The fucking asjflshelsbdka hot Luke Hemmings to the top or side ^ > who plays Tommy. Can we all just take a moment to swoon, fangirl, die, come back to life, and die again?

*coughs* uhm. Anyway, erm... Yeah the chapter...

"The tragedy in life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live." -Norman Cousins

Two days had passed since my miscarriage however I was still feeling like utter shit. At the hospital, they ran a few tests including an ultra sound and confirmed that I had lost my baby. They assured me that I wasn't to blame although part of me insisted that it was all my fault. I felt guilt ridden and despicable.

Aaron had stayed with me throughout it all and I was truly grateful for it. He didn't ask me any questions and for that I was thankful; he understood that it was a difficult subject for me to discuss. Plus, I'd already told him quite intimate things the night we were trapped in the store room together.

Memories of that night flooded my mind and skipped over to our almost kiss. I wish he had kissed me, however at the same time I'm glad he didn't. I knew all too well how shit it felt to be cheated on and Lindsy seemed like a nice enough girl.

I had other things on my mind than boys right now. I'd just gotten out of an abusive relationship, got fired from my job and had a miscarriage. Boys should be the last thing floating through my brain.

Every time I thought of my little baby boy or girl in my arms, I wanted to cry a river if tears. However, the more I thought about it, the more I came to understand that maybe it was for the best (even though I hated to admit it). I was in no state to look after a child and, I know this is a horrible thing to say but, the baby would have been a constant reminder of all the cruel things George bestowed upon me. Part of me thinks that I might have began to neglect it because of the memories it would throw at me.

I didn't want that.

I came to terms with the fact that I'd lost my baby. This didn't stop me from isolating myself in my bedroom for the past two, going on three, days. I was still in immense pain but it had died down a significant amount today.

Aaron had made multiple attempts at getting me to come out however I only left to pee or if I was is dire need for food.

There was a voice inside my head that was screaming at me to stop eating again. That I was already fat enough from the baby and I didn't want to get any bigger.

But I ignored it. I felt so strong and powerful by simply saying no and eating. It made me feel as though I'd grown as a person and it was down to the treacherous events that had recently occurred in my life.

Currently, I was drawing in my room when I heard a loud commotion going on from outside of my room. I heard crashing and yelling. This was not good.

Reluctantly, I leaped out of my room and speedily made my way to where the noise was coming from: the living room.

The door was wide open and I saw Olivia, Tommy and Aaron. Suitcases were sprawled on the floor nearby and I realised that Olivia and Tommy had come back from their stay at Tommy's parents' house.

I watched the scene infront of me and instantly knew something was up. Two chairs were knocked over along with the sofa being at a peculiar angle. Picture frames were cluttered on the floor and appeared to be smashed and broken.

A shaken up, anger stricken, Tommy was being held back by Aaron and Olivia was talking to him in a soothing manner, attempting to calm the boy who now had tears streaming down his face. I had never seen Tommy look so vulnerable before.