In hopes to find love

I wish it were me

I had finally arrived home from my trip to Paris. I had arrived at the Bridgerton house at the same time as daphne only to see all except 2 of the bridgertons standing by a doorway arguing over whatever
"I left my husband and child at home for this." Daphne points out "I have no idea why I was told to come here" I agree "I told everyone this would happy. Now we're late for the queen" Anthony says.
Anthony and I had not talked since our last argument only a greeting and goodbye. 
'Shhh I hear something' fran shush's us. Just as Anthony goes to open the door 4 maids come out looking rather upset. And a second later. Eloise wearing the most beautiful gown and a bird on her head. I could not help but laugh as she struts down the hall way earning a slap on the arm from violet
Before she goes to follow behind the young Bridgerton girl.

I myself was not invited to be presented to the queen as I was part of the last season, but I was invited to stand at the side. And ofcourse benedict made sure I was stood between him and Anthony. I watched as the very anxious Eloise stepped a few steps before the queen was interrupted by a new whistledown the writer who was quiet for a few months.

Dearest gentle reader, did you miss me?

I swallow my pride as I look over at Anthony offering him a soft smile

As the members of our esteemed ton lazily sojourned in their rustic retreats, this author was doing but one thing. Honing my skills. Or should I say hatching my plans. No, even better. I was sharpening my knives for all of you. Questions abound as to this author's identity and means. Seeking those answers shall prove fruitless, indeed. There is ofcourse another unknown identity at present though this one you will be able to unearth. I speak of the seasons diamond, or emerald , whereever she or they may be. Your move, your majesty.

I smirk softly as I finish reading the whistledown column knowing I was the first and only emerald as of now. Anthony going off on wanting his fathers betrothal ring 'dearest I shall be more than happy to give you my ring when you find someone with whom you are very much inlove. Besides it is in safe keep at Aubrey hall." Violet smiles looking rather uncomfortable. 'Are you quite alright? Anthony you look rather unwell?' I ask softly everyone looking shocked at my input 'I assure you all, everything is in order.' He nods 'thank you stasia.' He finishes for leaving... there's that nickname again.

It had been hours before Anthony returned home and then locked himself in his study, everyone pushing me toward the door knowing I was the last person he would yell at.
I knock it softly waiting for the yell to come in but what came instead was a hand grabbing me and pulling me inside. 'Jesus Anthony careful' I warn. 'I heard everyone talking I knew it was you. Sit' he demands  going back to scribbling and signing "you're going to stress yourself." I mumble grabbing his hand and taking his pen. "I have a few questions for you to answer" he clears his throat. "Oh I'm part of that. Goodness I'm flattered" I joke. His face remaining serious 'you are one of the women I know who is looking for a husband.'
'How many children?'
"I don't know! Anthony this is weird"
'Answer'
'2 atleast 5 at most maybe 6'
"Do you read?"
'Anthony. We have read together, I do read'
"How was your education?"
'I had the same tutors as your sisters.'
"Hobbies or activity's?"
'I play piano, I annoy your siblings, spend most of my time in your home!, I can bake, I sing, I ride horses'
"How is your family?"  I instantly stop myself looking up at him my mouth falling agape
'I am so sorry I was in the zone I forgot who it was I was talking to' he apologises "that is not helping your situation my lord. My family is not the best. My mama is a drunk and my papa is dead. But I feel being around yours has helped my mental image of wanting a family like it" I Answer anyway. Before leaving again.

I take my place back with the rest of the family crossing my arms earning looks of Pity from the family who had all obviously been listening in i groan as I see all eyes on me, standing up and making my way toward what the family know as 'my room' which is the actual guest room.

******

I arrive with the bridgertons to lady Danburys ball, holding onto Benedict's arm when he drags Eloise away in protectiveness leaving me with violet, Anthony and all the girls swarming him after violet announced his hunt for a wife. I took pleasure in watching Anthony dance with. All these women so horribly. It was my entertainment if the night and he knew it.

I had spent the rest of the night with violet having drinks and her pointing out good, appropriate looking wives for Anthony and handsome husbands for me. By the end of the night I had it narrowed down to 5 men for me

There is nothing quite like the sweet scented smell of success but after taking in the scene from last nights festivities, it is clear the season won't be quite so fragrant for everyone. The viscount bridgertons own mama may have loudly declared her eldest sons lofty intentions to marry, yet I cannot be the only one wondering if this former capital R-Rake is, indeed, ready to flourish. And why Anastasia williams did not take her chance to swoop in taking what we all thought to be her future husband. Perhaps the viscount, like the rest of us, is simply waiting for the queen to finally name her diamond. Or perhaps this author should take matters into her own hands. Though, if the many purportedly well-trained and bred hothouse flowers on display this year, this author must wonder if a more surprising choice might still be in store. Whichever darling miss receives such high esteem, let us hope there is a suitor available or only the sharpest wit, lest his cry misting a leave a young lady wilting like a parched rose.

I was currently on a walk with my lady's maid in the park to scope out some men and possible husbands "lord Michael good to see you" I smile 'yes indeed. Miss Williams' he smiles back "I hear you are part of this years season is that correct?" I ask as he leans down to kiss my hand 'yes miss, I have decided it is time to find myself a wife' he replies making me smile. 'I must add you look exquisite in that gown Miss williams, you definitely suit that colour of red.' He smiles causing a light blush to cover my face. "Why thank you, lord Michael. It was lovely to see you" I blush 'perhaps we could promenade together sometime? I shall send a letter or come see you at the Bridgerton house, that is where you reside is it not?' He asks softly before I walk away "yes my lord, I stay with the Bridgertons" I finish before turning to leave with Lucy again bubbling with excitement.

Formed under pressure, desired by many, yet possessed only by a fortunate few, there is nothing on earth so quite so envied as a diamond. Might our queen finally extinguish the fevered speculation and bestow the biggest of honours to a most fortunate lady tonight? With so many futures at risk, I do suspect this author is not the only one waiting with bated breath.

I smile as Eloise is once presented to the queen again  "it is a delightful ball, your majesty. Very diamond-y. Though i must admit I am more of an emerald person myself." She babbles making me smile and the queen to laugh with her. Good. God. She done it. How did she do that.

"Did she just compliment me as the emerald and then make the queen laugh?" I ask astonished when the Bridgerton brothers walked to me. 'Ah yes a faz you started with being an emerald' Benedict laughs 'shush you.' I laugh with him Anthony staring off at the lady's 'you. Stop staring at the young lady's half of them are nervous as it is.' I mutter slapping his arm making him look at me offended 'Anthony Bridgerton. You will find a lady to marry at the upmost random time. She will not randomly come to your eyesight.' I groan in annoyance

'Allow it to now be my honour to present to you the seasons diamond. Miss edwina sharma' the queen announces everyone clapping and benedict and i smirking 'you look at her the way I look at a finished painting, brother' Benedict points out "every man needs a muse. Does he not?" Anthony says In a trans like state. 'Could've been me' I say jokingly making the boys shocked before he steps forward to dance with the diamond. 'I can tell by the look of her she is everything he wants.' I state "aswell as  you, ofcourse" benedict laughs

Colour, clarity, carat, cut. At long last, the queen has named her most precious stone. While this author finds Miss edwina sharma to be an exceptional young lady, it is about time I used these pages of record for something else. A shift. Is the entire practise of naming a diamond not...well rather ridiculous? Should a woman not be valued for so much more than her dancing skills or her comportment? Should we not value a woman instead for her candor? Her character? Her true accomplishments? Perhaps if the queen abandoned this absurdity that is the diamond, we would all see that a woman can be so much more.