Commute - Camp NaNoWriMo April 2015

Chapter Forty-Two - Was It All A Dream?

How come that days when I'm not enjoying myself (i.e. long and boring work days) go really slowly, but when I'm having a really good time (i.e. TODAY), time whizzes by and it's the end of the day before I've even blinked?

So I had another relaxing day today, meals being made for me, novel-reading and internet-surfing, when suddenly the sun decided it was night time and dipped down over the horizon.

All too soon Jamie is coming into the room and saying, "Off that laptop now, Maya, and get some sleep. You've got work tomorrow."

You've got work tomorrow.

Oh fantastic. Well, I'll just settle down and drop straight off to sleep then, shall I?

Not.

I lie awake for hours, long after Jamie has fallen fast asleep. Contrary to his beliefs, I wasn't actually making that up about being scared of trains now. OK, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but I'm not completely ready to go back on one.

The night passes in a blur of awakeish and most definitely asleepish and quite a lot of freaking out about trains. When at last morning comes, I'm so tired I could fall asleep on my feet. Why am I always just about ready to fall asleep when my alarm goes and I have to wake up? However, I climb out of bed anyway and get dressed blearily. 

Of course, there are no Crunchy Nut Cornflakes left, and there are barely any Cheerios either, just little crumblings. For about ten seconds I'm seriously considering trying Jamie's Blended Cheerios recipe, but even in my half-asleep state I'm not that stupid. I end up scooping them out with my fingers and stuffing them into my mouth - not very dignified, but boy, am I starving. 

I walk down to the train station, panic growing in my chest with every step. I can't go back on that train... but I have to... but I can't... but I have to... This internal argument continues all the way right up to when I'm stepping up to the train, and my mind suddenly snaps at itself, Shut up. You're boarding this train. It was a freak accident, what happened to you. You've got to use this train to get to work every day. If you develop a mental block about it, you won't be able to go to work and you'll lose your job. You'll lose this fantastic opportunity. 

Calmed by my thoughts, I step onto the train and go to my usual seat. Everyone is there, in their usual places. It's like nothing has happened. It's like I haven't spent a night and two days in their company. A night and two days in which we were literally fearing for our lives (okay, maybe not. But you never know, if we had run out of food...). 

Just when I'm thinking, crazily, that it might have all been a dream, Batman leans over and taps me on the shoulder. "Thanks for what you did back there, Maya," he whispers. "You spurred everyone on when we were feeling awful. You cheered us up. Thank you so much." 

Aha. Maybe it wasn't a dream after all.