The maid

Chaptet 16: Second half

" I opened the door of the red Mercedes I was in, put a black hoodie over my head so that no one would recognize me, stuffed the adhaar card in my pockets and nervously walked out of that place and to the nearest electronics shop,"
" Why?"
" I wasn't a complete idiot. Knew that they could trace me through the SD card even if I kept the location off... So, I saved a few important numbers on my phone, bought a new SD card under some random name, threw the old SD card in a dustbin nearby and ran to the bus station... From there, I took the nearest bus to anywhere but my hometown or even anywhere in the state... That is when, I found myself on the border of Maharashtra and Gujarat,"
" What?! So. You got into... Gujarat?"
" See... The sun has risen already, I need to go do my job and... I don't want to make this any more glorified than it is. I ran away from my home. Was an idiot teenager back then and anxiety made me do things I probably would never do if I was in my right mind. But ever since I was born, I don't think I was ever in my right mind. I'm not going to make this sound OH SO GREAT! I didn't sacrifice anything. Nor did I showed any bravery by running off with a man I loved. I ran away for myself. For my peace of mind and because, it's in my nature. To run away. When I was small, I used to run away from my mom whenever she came home late and avoided all sorts of situations just because my gut told me that I was not going to end up happy. I have always ran from responsibility by letting my younger sister be the more strong one... She was the one who took responsibility of my youngest sister at all situations and me? I was the dumb, silent elder kid who was good for nothing and I knew. If I stayed there for any longer, I was going to be wed off to some stupid man for my dad's company's benefit or just any man who was ready to deal with my anger issues. Yes, it wasn't the best decision but, I was an idiot. That's why I could even execute that stupid plan. Besides, Covid had fucked with my head enough. I had already lost my grandfather, probably the only person I was close with in my entire family, my parents were divorcing and my own issues kept piling over the back of my head. They didn't let me sleep in peace either... In those times, I wasn't fucking able to pick up my phone and even text my own friends. Why? Because I didn't want anyone to ask me to meet them why? Because my face used to be swollen. All the time. Either by the fact that I was hit often or that I was naturally a clumsy person... Wasn't even able to go into open spaces or places where I could see a crowd. I would freak out. Literally. And why so? Why? Because I still wanted to justify my mother's actions. It's fucked up I know but she was my mom and my dad just left her in the middle of a pandemic. Not for some woman but the thing I knew he loved more than his life... His work. That's what his focus in life was. Yes, he tried. Millions of times tried to be a good father and husband but I know that it was never enough. Never. And my sisters? They were growing up. And seeing me get hit day after day right in front of their eyes... What example would I leave over their brains? That I was that helpless elder sister of theirs who never could do anything in her life and just, got sent out to marry some man in the end? No. I didn't want myself to be portrayed like that... I wasn't strong enough to retaliate against my mother because I knew where she came from. I wasn't strong enough to deal with the place I was in my life. I just couldn't deal with it anymore... It was too overwhelming but I wasn't a coward who would give up on living that easily either... So, I chose to run. I chose to put all those horrible things behind me and run. No, I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. No, I had no plan of my life in my hands. I had no idea what I was doing myself but I sure as fuck don't regret it... Because now, I know what life is... Now, I can live. I can do things I always wanted to without fearing anyone. There might be many dangers outside but for me, there are many more in my own house and that is where I have run away from. Ok? So... For a moment. Please, think about it from my point of view. Because there was no way I could be happy in that seemingly perfect family,"

Their eyes were clashing at that point, and both of them had tears because somewhere, both of them knew that they agreed on the same thing. Somewhere, somehow, both had the same feeling in their heart, no matter if one was a big rich man while the other was only a small little maid. Both had that one inner understanding of each other... That inner connection because at that one moment, if he was asked what was the difference between the both of them, he'd say none. Both were troubled individuals with their own set of issues in life, finding solace with each other.

" Did you never regret it? Never regretted leaving? Never regretted the emotions you have against your family? Never thought of going back?"
" Every day. In fact, the moment I got on the bus, I was going to chicken out of my journey... I called up my best friend for advice,"
" And?"
" She didn't pick up," she crossed her hands and smiled softly at him, " Was probably busy with her own issues. And after that happened, I didn't feel like disturbing anyone with my issues. Thought many times... What if I tell my mom that someone kidnapped me before I went back..."
" And?"
" Wouldn't be right on them... And I am happy in my life. Alone, like I always wanted to be. I can do whatever I want. Not literally... But, at least, I take my own decisions and the satisfaction of that is enough to rule out all the guilt and regret that I have in my heart. It's best this way,"

" You're living a dream?" She scoffed and smiled at the same time as she looked at him. The fat tears that had engulfed her eyes just a moment ago were now beginning to disperse as she snorted and looked away
" I had a bird once... Mohan. He was a... Love bird and for 12 years, I had him in this small little cage... My dad told me that it was good to keep him in there because if he was outside, a big bird could eat him... I didn't know that he had the strength to fight the big bird if I just gave him the option... Understood that after I got out of my own cage,"