Eyes Wide Open

The Truth Bomb was for Me!

Bam! It hit me in the face; the message in the devotion was for me...

The initial devotional message read:

"Has anyone ever been somewhere where you didn't feel wanted or welcomed? By far one of the worst feelings in the world!
I think sometimes we could possibly make Jesus feel that way... Jesus comes in knocking gently, we let him into our homes... our heart and we don't offer him water, we don't let him take a seat on our couch. We eat, sleep and do life right around Him. But, who knows that Jesus would gladly take whatever you offer Him and sit there waiting patiently for whenever you're ready."

See, this passage really truly hit me. I felt like there is so much truth in it that I was going to post it to Instagram. Because I so related to the words above thinking that that is exactly how I USED TO LIVE. I felt surely others would relate to it too. Except for, where I got entangled in bondage is thinking that this was my past; that I was untouched by this thinking in the present.

Little did I know, I was wrong.

I got caught up in creating the Instagram post and went on a journey trying to find the proper hashtag for the Bible app on Instagram so I could properly cite the devotion. I was led on a goose chase. For whatever reason, it was terribly hard for me to find the official handle for the Bible app at that time.

I scrolled through Instagram and LinkedIn. I knew I followed the Bible app on LinkedIn, but I could not find it.

It finally occurred to me that maybe God did not want me getting entangled with the Instagram post. Perhaps I was supposed to go back to the devotion and finish reading it in it's full entirety.

And, so, I did. I stopped my mad hunt and went back to finish reading the devotion I had started.

Then, I came across the following scripture and it hit me all at once.

"He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.""
‭‭Luke‬ ‭8:48‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Truth bomb: I'm still living in fear of and clinging to my mental health diagnosis of Bipolar 1.

Literally, I have spent almost every day of the last year fearing and thinking about my mental health diagnosis. I have believed that God has been helping me overcome it. I've learned that I've had to lean into His strength to battle through it. That's exactly it, I have been battling for God, instead of fully handing it over to God to battle for me.

As the devotion opened with, I have not fully invited God into my house. I have not fully invited Him into my heart. I have not fully trusted with no crevice whatsoever, that God can truly heal me.

The truth was for me...

Perhaps, once I can truly "let go, and let God" with 1 million times confidence that He will heal me, I will in fact be healed completely.

Key Takeaways and Thoughts:
God revealed the following things to my eyes that prepared me for the truth bomb above:
- "Prayer is the difference between you fighting for God, and God fighting for you." - The Light FM
- "Many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they've experienced. They have no idea who they are outside of the trauma and the unknown can be terrifying." @empowermentemporium
- "Patience is to wait for the ice around your heart to melt, instead of breaking it." @SARAILLAMAS
- "I wanted to be open to what God had for me, but this conversation started a wrestling. For days, I poured over scripture, prayed as I read it, asked for help to understand, asked why this was so hard for me, asked why I had yet to ask for healing when so many people were already praying for it for me and I refused." - Living on a Lightstand Blog

Scripture:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

"Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.""
‭‭Luke‬ ‭8:48‬ ‭NIV‬‬

"For freedom, Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and don't get entangled again with the yoke of bondage."
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:1‬ ‭CSB‬‬ and KJV