Silence filled the room as we kept staring in each other's eyes. My eyes glistening in the moonlight as they started back at him with shock. How could I be so stupid. I ruined everything.
Way to go Y/n.
_
Lee Heeseung.
The one and only heart rob between the ladies and my best friend since childhood. I'd watch him collect girls with only one look and then drop them as soon as he wasn't interested anymore. I wasn't a big fan of what he does but I couldn't do anything, as if i haven't already tried to make him stop, but what was I thinking.
Throughout the years though, I couldn't help but develop feelings for him no matter how much he played around with girls. It really was hard not to. I've always had a crush on Heeseung. He was perfect in every way other him being the player he is.
When his long-term girlfriend broke up with him, so sudden that he wasn't expecting it, nor was I, I was with him through his heartbreak. I was always there for him. I was actually so happy he broke up with her, yet guilt ate me up, but it hurt me seeing him with someone that wasn't me. From that night on our bond got bigger, and that's how I watched Heeseung turn into a player, completely being oblivious to my feelings towards him and i decided to keep them hidden from then on.
And every time he felt like he needed someone, no matter the time or the place, with one call from his I would always be there and every time he does I fall harder and harder, resulting in me getting hurt. Hurts so bad knowing after all of that he would go back to fucking around with girls, sometimes even completely forgetting about me.
And now, here I am. In the middle of the night, in his room. He called me over crying and I didn't waste a second getting my keys and driving to his. I had a spare key so I got in easily and found him in his room, on his bed, with salty tears running down his beautiful futures.
My eyes softened at the sigh of him like that, letting out a breath before i slowly walked over to his bed, looking down at him. His head shot up, looking up at me through his tears that were clouding his sight but he didn't fail to look right into my eyes.
"Heeseung." I whisper out, putting the weight of my leg on his bed, climbing onto it and right next to him, pulling him inside my embrace, his head nuzzling into my neck as he sobbed. I held him tight like i always do. My hand into his hair, playing with it to calm him down whilst i shushed him.
"It's gonna be okay." I pull away slightly, taking his head from my neck, cupping his cheeks and looking at him with a sad smile on my face. His bambi, red, swollen eyes sparking in the moonlight, his lips parted as he was catching his breath from all the crying. The urge to kiss him was building up in me but... was it worth the risk?
I didn't want to risk anything with him. Our friendship, the bond between us, but it was hard fighting back. Not tonight, i tell myself but i couldn't help myself as my eyes traveled to his lips and shortly after, I leaned in, capturing his lips with mine.
After a while of him not kissing back he pulled me away, standing up from the bed. Tears were building up in my eyes, realizing what the hell i did. How stupid of me. There goes the person I love.
"Hee I'm so sorry, I-I don't know what go into me." The tears had already fell as i stood up from the bed too. His eye staring at me in shock, his tears were now dried but his eyes still glistening. The way he was looking at me had me thinking that this was the end of our friendship. He didn't say anything, just stared back at my crying self.
Please say something, please, i begged inside my head.
And as if he could hear the pleads in my mind, his soft voice spoken up. "Don't do this Y/n... please." He says, inching closer to me. I shook my head as I looked down. "I can't Heeseung, I can't hide anymore. Do you know how much it pains me?" I finally say. He sighs, looking down to the floor and the back up at me with pleading eyes.
"Y/n you can't." He responds softly. "Why Heeseung? Tell me. What do they have that I don't?" I ask, trying so hard to not let the tears get in the way of me speaking.
He titled his head at me, now standing right in front of me, making me look up at him. I look away from his eyes, not baring the pain i felt when looking at him. His finger softly held my chin, bringing my eyes back to his as he lifted my face.
"You have so much that they don't, Y/n." His voice a whisper as he continued. "They're nothing compared to you. Nothing." "Then why Heeseung...?" I wanted answers. I was desperate.
He stayed silent for a few moments, just us both looking at each other, our eyes speaking more than our mouth ever can. "I don't wanna risk it Y/n. Not with you. What if I fuck it all up? What if I'm not enough for you? You're too good for me and I can't ruin you. I don't want to end up like i did." Now he was the one fighting tears back, his words bringing back the memories of how his relationship ended and i realized he was scared of getting hurt and hurting someone special to him again.
I let out a small laugh, my cheeks still stained with my tears. "You could never. You're perfect no matter what and I can assure you," I grabbed his cheeks once again. "You could do nothing wrong. Just stop hurting me like this." What I meant with that was, I wanted him to stop being with a different girl everyday, i wanted him all to myself. I wanted him to let me show him it can work out.
Nodding his head at me he bought me into a sudden kiss, catching me off guard as a gasp left my lips and onto his. It didn't take a while for me to kiss him back with the same intensity, closing my widened eyes and letting myself get lost into the kiss. His lips were just irresistible.
The kiss was slow and passionate, feelings poured into at. Feelings we held back for so long.
He guided us to his bed, his hand holding onto my body as he softly sets me down onto his mattress, caging me under his much bigger body.
"It was all a distraction. They meant nothing." He starts, indicating to the girls he's been with. "It's always been you." Was the last thing said before his lips found their way on mine again and they didn't leave for the remaining of the night.
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<3
