Pain & Gain

Chapter 6

Marshall parks in the old spot in front of the complex. I'm excited to have him back. He looks much better to me. He's been feeling better too, so he says. I can never tell exactly what it is with him. The two of us make our way up the stairs, me first. I hear Marshall taking in large breaths behind me. I know he's tired.
I unlock the door and push through. Inside the door I take my jacket off and toss it over the back of the couch. The keys go to their usual place on the counter. I don't hear Marshall's footsteps anymore. When I turn around he's almost directly behind me. I feel his breath on my forehead.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I ask him, sensing his tiredness.

"In a way." He says with a smile and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Well-"

My sentence is cut short by Marshall forcing his lips on me. His hands pull me in at the waist, securing me against his body. His kisses are desperate, and I more than comply. He takes steps forward backing us up against the wall, tracing his hand down my body and squeezing my backside.

"Marshall slow down." I say in a weak protest as his lips find my neck. I feel him breathing heavily in and out of his nose in attempts to keep up. "Please be careful."

"Shh." He whispers against my neck, grabbing me in various places. "Just let me..."

I nod while he unbuttons my jeans. My arms wrap around his neck and I nuzzle against his shoulder. I treasure it, it's been made clear more than once that he can be taken from me any moment. I feel as though I've taken him for granted in a way. I get a sick feeling in my stomach as Emmett comes to mind again. I'm taking Marshall's obliviousness for granted. He needs to know, but also never needs to know. This whole thing is over complicated and I shove it away.
Marshall pushes my jeans down a bit and let's his fingers wander. I flinch slightly at the motion, I haven't been touched like this in a long time. Is that so? What about Mr. I Want A Kiss? My subconscious teases. I dismiss the thought immediately. I can't feel guilty about Emmett right now and it makes me uncomfortable how he keeps popping into my head.

"Look at me." He says, circling me back to reality.

I hesitantly move my head and lock eyes with him. It's amazing how he's able to completely captivate me with his eyes. Those eyes look at me while he begins to rub. I twitch at his touch and he smirks. I've missed him and it shows. I can't hide anything from him. I blush and pull him into my hug even tighter. I feel his smile while he kisses my shoulder. He enjoys my shyness.

"I want you here, and then in the hallway, and then in the bed." He says, removing his touch while unbuttoning his jeans. "Maybe more. We'll see how I feel."

Three times! My heart skips. Maybe more! I hear my breath loud and fast. Marshall kisses me again for reassurance. He's very aware of the affect he has on me. It's weird after not being with him for so long. I'm not used to the intensity and I'm self conscious. He hasn't slowed down at all and my lack of experience doesn't help me. All of a sudden I stop his hand and he looks at me confused.

"What's wrong?" He looks at me with concern, his bruised eyebrows furrow.

"Nothing, I just..." Stop looking at me like that. I mentally scream at him. "I'm not used to all of this. It's been a while."

"It's okay baby." Marshall presses his forehead against mine. "I'll stop if you want me to."

"No I don't want to stop. I just- it's a lot with the eye contact and you and,"

"What about me?" He's defensive almost, but mostly worried that he's done something wrong.

"You." I put my hands on his shoulders. "I love you and I missed you and now everything is more intense because you're so good at this, and I want you so bad but I feel horrible because of what happened to you." I realize I'm rambling on but I can't stop. "The past 6 weeks have been hell Marshall."