Unexpectedness of life [Between life and death]

7. 'sixteen years'

November 2004 

Jane

Omg I think that today I am going ti give the birth of my daughter. But how could this happen now when we are literally out of nowhere! For goddess sake I am sergeant who is supposed so watch over the soldiers. My husband is General Peter Lancaster and everyone is scared of him, don't  know why? Now I am alone because the base nurses said that I am not allowed to do anything until the baby is born. Before Peter left he kissed my forehead. But I am so scared because the baby is going to be premature. And the nearest hospital is where you need to go by military helicopter. 

Her name is going to be Hazel Grace. Luckily my friend from childhood Emily is there with me. She already have gave the birth of twin boys two years ago so she knows how to threat me. The boys Augustus and Caleb* [*NOT THE ONE FROM DIVERGENT!!] are gonna be very happy when they get the new friend. But I am afraid that Hazel is going to be so weak because the due day is still three months from this day. Emily has spoke with me but now I am so tired. You know giving birth of your child at military base is not a easy piece of cake! My first kid Erik* was born at the base of Afghanistan two years ago. At this time I really wish that I am able go to the hospital. The last time I did lost so much blood.

I am little bit scared that our children' always need to be at home when we are serving at here. But luckily they do have lovely grandparents. Last time when we left four months ago I remember that Erik, Caleb and Augustus asked that if we could stay at home. They were crying over Hazel who still is at my womb. Yes I needed to tell right away when we found this pregnancy out. They were worried that something could happen for her, well mostly Erik who is already super overprotective for his little sister [even if she is not born yet]. They asked we to take good care of her. While being so young they did not notice that of course she will be save as long that she is inside of me. But as soon as possible I am going to leave this base and having a maternity leave at home. At least the kids are going to be super happy for that.

Well even if the Waters are living at the house next to us, the boys do usually spent most of the time at our house. In the last summer Peter and Mark [the father of twins] did built a war playing area for the boys, but something does say that also Hazel will love the playing at there when she is older. When I mentioned that thing for the Peter he was in shock and said that Jesus Lord the girl is not even born yet and you just keep planning her whole life!! But I just feel that way, she is always so interested about the voices coming out of my tummy. She is used to listen and stay awake a same time at every day, the time when boys are around us. It's almost like she enjoy the moments when they do talk for her. 

It's almost the Christmas time now, if Hazel is born today she will be the perfect Christmas present for our family. I just wish that she does not have any illnesses. That she could have an easy life. I know that that does sound so selfish but illnesses do make lives the more difficult. Being full healthy could be the best for her. But even if she does have some illnesses I am going to love her as much as now. Nothing will not be able to separate the mother from her children except death! 

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December 2004

Hazel Grace is now  two weeks old. She was born at the military helicopter on our way to the hospital. At the roof of hospital there were so many doctors and nurses waiting for us. She was a perfect baby, full ten points. Just couple of breathing difficulties but that is normal because of her underdeveloped little lungs. For a couple months she will need an oxygen therapy and then she is free go to the home. I am so happy and the boys are super exited. When they saw her at the first time at here they already said that she is going to be their new best friend. It has been lovely to watch how everyone of them is super protective for her. Erik and Augustus are the baddest ones, at once Gus tried to bite the hand of nurse when she was just trying to take the blood from Hazel's head [the IV is placed at the baby's head!]. And I don't even start with the Erik, at once he kicked the nurse and doctor out of the room.