Unexpectedness of life [Between life and death]

2. ' My sweet little daughter Grace'

Augustus

2:00 PM

Hazel does sleep, she has been sleeping four hours now. I can't go to her hospital room, because the operation will start soon. The nurses will take her to the surgery hall. I just wish that both of them will be alright. When I left earlier this afternoon I did notice that Hazel was thinking something very deep. But she does not never tell if she gets those depressive thoughts. 

I know that Grace is not my daughter. Cal told what happened, before we were deployed to military all those six months ago. But why he did not tried to stop her. My stupid twin brother knew that me and Hazel were dating, still he used the situation, and even did not tell anything for her, just left her alone with the baby! 

Even if I do know that thing, I am not asking anything, she will tell when she is ready. Have been horrible to keep this 'secret' from her, usually we do speak from almost everything. Even if I am not Grace's biological father I will be looking after her like a real dad. I will love her like she could be my own daughter. It is not her or her mothers fault that my brother made a huge mistake by mean! I just wish that the idiot was careful with Hazel, I know that it was her first time. If he did not treated her like he should have then I will punch he at his faces when we see each others next time! 

Because Hazel is too weak to give birth normal way the baby is going to be taken off her womb by surgery, she will be under general anesthesia. So there will be those funny hours then after the operation, when Hazel is waking up. She is always so funny after surgery. 

3:00 PM

Well now it is time. They just got her to the operation hall. And I need to stay at the ER waiting room [don't know why, because this is like the 1st floor, and the ICU and operation rooms are 4th floor]. The doctor was too rude for me. I don't know why, I do have rights to be in my daughters life, have I? Even if I am at the US army, but so is Hazel. This whole hospital is insane! 

It's unfair that Hazel's parents are not able to be at here, they will be at home during the next week. I think that she could have needed them the most. Her big brother Peter is not helping anything, when he just annoys her the whole time. 

3:30 PM

I am not allowed to see Hazel yet, I heard that they took her just back to the ICU room. And the baby was taken to NICU because of fatal breathing difficulties and visceral damages [Grace is premature so she is underdeveloped]. 

4:15 PM

Finally the nurse asked me to follow her to the Hazel's room. Just now Hazel is pretty tired because of all medical drugs. She is still asleep like anything has even happened. But because she does have several blood IV bags and all medical wires going all over her. Her nasal cannula was changed to ventilation mask because of heart attack she got middle of operation. They say that now Hazel will be at comatose for couple of days. 

I heard that those nasty nurses said at the corridor that that sweet little baby probably will not survive. I knew that they were speaking about Grace. I am wondering that when I am allowed to meet my daughter for the first time. 

My parents are here at the hospital and mom just arrived to Hazel's room, she has always said that if something happens to her own parents Hazel is more than welcome to live with us.