Lighting a Match in the Rain

Chapter Thirty-Two

I dreamt about him that night.

We were in love, stealing kisses between classes in the halls, catching car rides home, having dinner with each of our families during the holidays...There was hand-holding, and nights of us wrapped in the same bedsheets. And then I woke up.

One kiss—and this man had wrapped himself in even the smallest corners of my mind. As I got ready for school and picked out my outfit, I wondered if he'd think I looked prettier than usual. As I made a bowl of cereal, I wondered what his favorite kind was. As I drove to school with Macey in the passenger seat, I wondered how he'd act around me. Would we continue on as our usual selves? Would there be stolen kisses every once and a while? Every chance we got? None at all? What were we supposed to do at school with at least one pair of eyes on us at all times?

I had a feeling that whatever this was, was all said and done, if he absolutely destroyed me in the end, I'd probably still be falling head over heels.

"I want to go to a party tonight," I announced, slapping my book down on my desk. Kinsley was already in her seat beside me and Julian in front of me. They both raised an eyebrow.

"Do you even party?" Julian asked me.

I shrugged. "Not really." I don't think I've been to a party since Sebastian and I were still going strong. But I hadn't seen Reed at all today and I was scared that he was avoiding me after the kiss. With all of the bad decisions I've made lately, I was feeling inclined to make another one. I wanted to get drunk.

"Go with me? Please?"

"Who's having a party tonight?" My best friend asked. She didn't party often but she was hardly ever opposed to one.

"Tanner." I'd overheard the soccer team talking about it when I was grabbing my lunch.

Julian's face scrunched with disgust. "Isn't that Sebastian's friend?"

"Yeah?" I didn't care if Sebastian was there. I'd be surrounded by people. He wouldn't do anything. The guy was a wimp in that kind of situation. He was literally the worst of my worries and I had no worries at all.

My friends looked at me as if I was talking nonsense. I sighed, dropping my shoulders. "Guys, come on. When was the last time we got drunk?"

They glanced between each other. "We got drunk last weekend, but you were busy doing something else that you are being so secretive about."

I rolled my eyes. "Please? Go with me?" I pleaded.

Both of their stares gave me the answer I didn't want. Neither of them wanted to and by the look that they were both giving me, I knew going out was the last thing they wanted to do.

"How about another movie night tonight?" Kinsley offered instead.

Julian agreed immediately. "We can use my basement this time. We have a sick hang-out room. Sectional couch, recliners, flat screen, and a pool table." Smiling, Kinsley nodded.

Sighing, I looked between them. "If you want to drink, I'll bring alcohol," Kinsley offered. "I'll sneak it in my purse."

"I mean that sounds fun, but I was hoping we could be around a lot more people."

"I'll invite some of my other friends over again," Julian said.

Kinsley nodded. "Ella, they are super cool. You'd love them."