Nie Huaisang was walking in the middle of the night, alcohol in hand and some ear plugs. He knocked on the door in some kind of pattern, dragged into hell as his wig fell off.
"WAH FUCKING HELL!"
"SHHH!"
"X-XICHEN- ER-GE?!"
"Sang keep your voice down if you don't want me to call your brother."
"Eep!- yes yes! But what are you doing here?!"
"Oh, Xiao-Ying invited me."
Nie Huaisang looked at Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian who were making out on the table.
"Are they drunk?"
"Uhm... Well basically they snuck out naked and I was on patrol and... I saw them?"
"So Xian Dìdì didn't invite you?"
"Not really."
Nie Huaisang sighed.
"You know you can go now."
"No, I mean I bought them these alcohol so why wouldn't I join?"
"Where'd you get the money?- OH MY GOD YOU TWO, DON'T HAVE SEX ON THE TABLE PLEASE! DO IT IN THE BEDROOM OR SOMETHING!"
Wei Wuxian looked at Nie Huaisang.
"What?"
Jin Zixuan smiled as he stood up and ran to tackle Nie Huaisang.
"WAHHHH! SANG-GE! SANG-GE! PLAY WITH A-XUAN!"
"Yes yes, I'll play."
Jin Zixuan smiled brightly as he hugged Nie Huaisang tightly.
"Uhm, Sang, is Young Master Jin always like this when drunk?"
"You mean the making out or right now?"
"Both would be better to know."
"No he doesn't make out with just anyone, he had a crush on that dumbass who's now getting naked- please stop him- but now he doesn't have a crush on him so I guess it only comes back when he's drunk. And yes he acts like a child who never got the attention cause in all reality, Miss Hana tried to kill him as a child because you know the marriage between Sect Whore Guangshan and Beautiful, oh so beautiful Shim Hana is cursed."
Lan Xichen was closing Wei Wuxians' robes.
"Well I guess it is valid."
"I guess this was a warm welcome to hell for you."
The four of them sat across each other. Jin Zixuan was playing with paper planes while Wei Wuxian... Well let's say that Jin Zixuan is the kid drunk, Wei Wuxian is the emotional drunk and Nie Huaisang is the... Mass murderer drunk.
"Why?! WHY?! WHY DID HE REJECT ME LIKE THAT?!"
Jin Zixuan scooted over and patted Wei Wuxians' head.
"Yosh yosh. He's a poopy head so don't mind him!"
"BUT I COULD SAVE HIS DICK BY GIVING IT CPR!"
Jin Zixuan continued to pat Wei Wuxians' head.
"Yosh Yosh. XianXian is not beautiful when he's sad so XianXian must smile. He's just a poopy head who doesn't know why XianXian is the best XianXian in the whole world! Yosh yosh!"
Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen watched as the two looked like the perfect match.
"Er-ge."
Nie Huaisang poured alcohol into Lan Xichens' cup.
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What if W(h)en
Fanfiction꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡Re-opened♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱ What if... Wen Ruohan received news that his bestfriend Cangse Sanren had died and infront of him right now was her son. A thin and dying boy who was being carried by his eldest son. Deciding whether... No fuc...
