She's your daughter. (Ben Bruce)

Chapter 26

Its been a week since I got out of hospital. I'm so fucking heartbroken. All I want to is just lie in my bed and cry. Ryder has been trying to comfort me but I just keep pushing him away. Im pushing everyone away but I can't help it.
"Baby." Ryder said softly as he entered the bunk room. I was curled up in my bunk with the covers wrapped around me.
"What." I spat. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I was too depressed, angry and hurt. I hated myself. I hated the fact that people where trying to make things better when I clearly deserve to feel this way. I killed my own baby. Maybe not on purpose but I still killed it.
"Baby please just talk to me" ryder sighed.
"Fuck off!" I growled.
"Just fucking talk to me!" Ryder exclaimed.
"No. Fuck off." I screamed.
"What the fuck is your problem!" Ryder shouted.
"Fuck off. Just fuck off and leave me alone." I growled.
"You want me to fuck off and leave you alone?" Ryder snapped.
"Yes!" I screamed.
"Fine how about I just fuck off and leave you alone forever?" Ryder yelled as he ripped the blankets away from me. I sat up and stared into Ryder's red angry face.
"Fine." I hissed.
"Fine we're done!" Ryder screamed.
"Fine!" I screamed before shoving a pillow at him. I let out an angry scream before storming out of the bunk area.
I laid back down in my bed and felt a pang in my chest. What have I done? I love him and I just let it slip away! Fuck it. He doesn't care anyway. No one cares about me. No one ever has or ever will. I don't deserve to be here anymore. I miss my mother. I want to be with her. But I can't. Or can I? That's when it clicked. I could just leave. Be with my mother and my baby. Just leave this earth. Sure Ben would be upset but he'd get over it. Ryder doesn't give a shit. I hate being here anyways.
I slowly go out of my bunk and grabbed my note pad. I scribbled a couple of notes down for Ben and the guys before slipping them into each of their bunks. I slowly made my way to the bathroom. Tears pouring down my face. I locked the door behind me and stood over the bathtub. I began to turn the taps on and watched as water filled the tub. I took every thing out of my pockets and waited for the tub to fill up. Once it filled I stopped the taps and took off my shoes but leaving the rest of my clothes on. Tears were still pouring down my face as I lifted myself up into the icy cold bath. I sat down and waited for the coldness to not bother on me anymore. I laid down and just thought for a while.
This is it. Good bye.
Just as I was about to dunk my head under the water loud bangs and screams where coming from outside the bathroom door.
"CASSIE DONT DO THIS PLEASE!" Ryder screamed.
"CASSIE NO PLEASE I LOVE YOU!" Ben screamed.
"I love you too dad." I whispered as one final tear poured from my eye. I grabbed the side of the tub and dunked my head under water not bothering to hold my breath. Soon my lungs were filled with ice cold water and my body began to jerk voluntarily but I held hard against the tub making sure my body didn't rise. Just then my whole life flashed before my eyes. The day I found my dad, the day my mother died, the day I met ryder, the night we made love, our date, the hospital. Everything. Soon my body stopped jerking and my mind became at ease. Soon I was abosrobed into darkness.
Good bye...