After The End: Book 2

Epilogue

Authors note with information on the next book at end of chapter. Next book already posted.

Harry's POV

I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside out. The raw tearing had started immediately, as soon as the light left her eyes. I'd never seen someone die like that before. It wasn't something I knew how to process. It wasn't an image I could stop from cycling endlessly on replay inside my brain.

At first, I hadn't known exactly what happened. Lux had been looking at me and smiling and laughing and I was trying to keep my sour mood, but her energy made it pretty impossible to ignore.

"I love your chaos. You're never an inconvenience."

My tension had lessened at those familiar words and my eyes had lit up some. Her voice had such an effect on me. She had squeezed my hand and then turned back around at Jays request. I hadn't even seen the other car coming until it was hitting us. Everything had happened so fast, but I remember watching as the car spun and hearing as Lux's scream was abruptly cut off by the loud crunch. Her head hit the windshield, spidering the glass in every direction, and silence followed as she collapsed back into her seat. Jays heavy breathing was the first thing to hit my senses, followed by the creaking of the steaming metal.

"Harry!" Jay had yelled immediately. Her voice sounded ragged and panicked. I realized later that she was so trapped she couldn't turn around to check on me. "Are you okay?"

I had ignored her, without really considering the question before flinging my seatbelt off. My body felt fine in the moment, although maybe it was just the adrenaline, because plenty of pain followed later. My eyes hadn't left the unmoving form of Lux sitting silently crooked in the seat. The dash board was crushed in on both of the front passengers. In the moment it occurred to me, somewhere far off that both of them might have been trapped. I found myself pushing between the center console and leaning over the dazed face of my favorite person without reserve.

I discovered her eyes were open, but it wasn't like she could see. Blood dripped down her cheek, her bangs matted down in the thick of it and I saw  for the first time, that the point of her forehead where impact had been made was bloodied, raw and crushed. That image was still playing in my head. I couldn't stop it, hours or even days later.

"Lux," I had tried to start sharply. She hadn't responded. "Lux, I need you to say something to me, please!!."

I looked for any sign in her eyes that she was seeing me. I watched as she locked her eyes on my own for a moment and she opened her mouth. I thought she'd speak but instead she just breathed a broken creaky breath. I had felt that painful hammering of my heart in my chest as her eyes slid off me.

"Harry," Jay tried to get my attention again. I remembered the feeling of her hand gripping my shoulder and I whipped around to see her staring at me with a fearful look. She looked like she was in pain. The airbag had deployed, and I saw that the was bleeding from one arm. Her seatbelt had cut into her chest where it held her fast into the seat. "Harry, she's hurt."

I had nodded numbly. I could see that, but I wasn't processing it yet. I turned back around and looked at her bloody face and her scared eyes darting around the crushed up vehicle and I realized she must be hurt because she wasn't speaking and she'd be speaking if she was able. I grabbed her hand and tried to muster something reassuring in my voice. "It's okay," I had mumbled even though I knew it was a lie. I always hated lying to her. Tears had slipped down my cheek at that point. "You're okay. Just keep looking at me, love."

"I'm okay," she breathed. Her sweet angelic voice that was always just a pitch too high and too loud if she wasn't paying attention had gone muted and soft. I realized while looking at her unfocused eyes that I didn't care how loud or annoying she would ever be. I just needed to keep hearing her voice.