After The End: Book 2

18. A Part of Something

Harry's POV

The agitating feeling in my chest was inconsistent and brutal. The longer I was awake the more difficulties I had in trying to regulate it. My conversation under the tree with Louis that followed my conversations with Lux had been a great example of what it looked like when I failed to reign in the part of my brain asking me to be a dick to people. The taunting and the weird personal confessions had been a not great moment for me.

Regardless, honesty was healing. The moment I told Louis off for suggesting my life was fine prior to Cory, I'd felt compelled to defend it with honesty. Maybe I should have left fun facts about Naomi out of it but honesty begs to tell the whole story. Louis took it well. He asked no follow up questions about my bit about child abuse and I wouldn't have answered anyways if he had.

Telling him made me feel better. I wasn't sure what exactly felt better but something did.

Afterwards, we'd gone inside. Jay had lectured me about not only leaving with her child but also for not helping cook breakfast and also for not eating breakfast. She had a fair point. Despite Louis telling me to eat something the night prior, I was pretty sure I'd eaten nothing in over 24 hours. She made me eat a cold pancake. I didn't argue.

Nobody touched on the major question. We had no idea what our plan was and I'd finally gathered that Louis didn't actually have one. His plan was to not be at home and there wasn't a timeline. I agreed. If Jay would let me, I'd set up a permaresidence on her sofa and never leave.

Louis informed me after my late breakfast that Naomi had not moved to communicate further. I thought about calling her myself but I had my own problems, namely the thoughts in my brain begging for drugs. I was just focusing on ignoring that which meant using Daisy and Phoebe as my very willing distractions.

Daisy had started learning piano and so that's where me and the kids ended up while Louis sat in the kitchen with his mum staring at the formula can trying to figure out if he was really going to have to use it. Louis had released Oliver into my supervision in the other room which felt weird given how I'd been acting. The smiling baby in my lap was comforting. Every once in a while he would look around as if trying to find the familiar face of his mother, although for now I could get him easily distracted. Not like last night had been. I was beginning to judge her more the longer this went on.

Daisy was playing notes on the piano brokenly and Phoebe was acting as a page turner for her music, trying to help remind her how to do certain notes. Louis had given them both a rudimentary knowledge of how the piano playing thing worked but I had no clue and clearly the girls were only novices. They kept asking me for help like I'd been paying attention at all when working with Louis. I could read sheet music. That didn't make playing an instrument any easier. The giggling was still pleasant at least.

"Harry help us!" Daisy whined.

"I don't know what your doing," I argued holding the baby up. "I'm not a pianist, I'm a baby sitter."

Oliver giggled as if to agree with me.

"Don't you play guitar or something?" Phoebe asked me.

I laughed. "Not good."

She rolled her eyes and ran to the other room surfacing with a tiny 6 string guitar that was clearly designed for tweens, not adults. She strummed it once and then smiled at me. I could tell by her expression that she had no idea how out of tune it was.

"No," I said plainly.

"Please!" They begged together.

"You played for millions of fans but not for your own siblings?" Daisy inquired sounding offended.