Rainbow Christmas

Chapter 04. Forgiveness

Paul stared at his soon to be ex-husband on their bed. The house only had three bedrooms, so he ended up sharing a bed room with Jeremy and Alan. Jeremy is feeding formula milk to Alan.

"What do you want to achieve by coming here?" Paul asked again. "I'll do anything to fix my mistake. I still love you.." Jeremy sighed.

Jeremy is 6 years younger than Paul. They met when Jeremy was a struggling model and Paul was barely selling his designs. They helped each other a lot, back then Jeremy used to model for Paul and got paid really cheap. But Paul gives him food and place to live.

Jeremy's life was so much worse than Paul's. He was in the foster house from the time he was 5 years old until he was 18 years old. Then do anything he can do to support himself.

"I just don't understand why you lied to me. I know you are bisexual. But I didn't know you wanted to be in a polyamory relationship, too." Paul said.

"I'm scared, ashamed, and stupid. I'm sorry. I want to turn back time and undo what I did. I missed being with a woman. I should have talked to you. I know.. " Jeremy rubbed Alan, who was falling asleep on his arm. "Look, you can punish me all you want. But please think of Alan. He needs his papa. " Jeremy kissed Alan's forehead.

"You hurt me, Jeremy." Paul rubbed Alan's feet. He is so small and so fragile. As much as Paul doesn't want to forgive Jeremy, he is right; Alan needs him.

Alan is nodding off while drinking his formula. Jeremy stared back at Paul. "Do you want to hold him?" Jeremy smiled bitterly.

"Sure," Paul said, taking Alan from Jeremy. Alan is fuzzing a little, but he settles quickly. "You can date anyone, and I can stay in Alan's bedroom. Until you forgive me." Jeremy closed his eyes.

This offer broke Jeremy's heart, but he wants Paul to know that he is serious about fixing his mistake. "What if I can't forgive you?" Paul asked.

Jeremy bites his lower lips. He knows there is a huge chance that Paul will never forgive him. "I was with you for eight years." I hope you give me a second chance. "

Paul took a deep breath. He still loves Jeremy, and he is right about Alan. Alan needed him. He knew Jeremy couldn't survive doing this alone.

They have been trying to get a good surrogate and eggs for years, and having Alan is a great blessing. "I need sometime alone.." Paul sighed.

"I will give you some space. But please let us stay? I want Alan to spend his first Christmas with us. Both of us.." Jeremy said.

Paul did not realize until Jeremy mentioned it, this is indeed Alan's first Christmas. But he still wants to pursue Owen.

And the inn is fully booked for holiday season. So if he lets Jeremy stay, he will have to share a bed with him and Alan.

"Fine, but I will still go out with Owen." Paul knew that it was a fake relationship, but he just needed to numb his aching heart. He would be lying if he said he had already moved on from Jeremy.

Jeremy just nodded. Paul put Alan in between them and turned around. He fell asleep not long after that.

Jeremy did not sleep well that night, mostly because he cried all night. He felt horrible about what he had done to Paul.

The next morning, Jeremy woke up with no one next to him. So he just grabbed his robe and walked out. He made himself some toast.

Mia came into the kitchen when he started eating his toast. She didn't speak a single word to Jeremy. Then George came to the kitchen too not long after that.

"Jeremy!" George said it with a happy tones. "Papa!" Jeremy jumped down from the bar stools. Jeremy called George 'Papa' because Jeremy never really knew his father and George was the closest thing to a father to him.

They hugged each other while Mia tried to ignore them. "Paul told me you were here, but I just.. I don't know if you are ready to talk to me. And you were so busy with Alan too. " George smiled.

"I am always ready to talk to you. But you were right, Alan was really fussy yesterday. It's probably because of his flight here and sleeping in a different bed. This is his first trip." Jeremy smiled. "So, you talk to Paul last night?" George asked.

"Yes, he decided to be with someone else. I said that I deserved that. But I said that I wanted to be here with Alan for his first Christmas. So, we are staying here for a while." Jeremy stared blankly at his toast.

"Why did you do that? I am actually disappointed at you. You should have not done that to Paul." George sighed.

He knew that Jeremy had been stressed out ever since they had their baby and Paul had always left him to do everything. But, it is still wrong for Jeremy to do what he did.

"I'm stupid? I don't know, papa. I just know that I want to fix my mistake. I want Paul back." Jeremy sighed. "I wish I could take back what I did." "Then do something nice for Paul to prove to him that you are sorry." George said.

"What do you think is the best thing I can do for him around here?" Jeremy smiled. "Stay away from my brother; that's what's best for him." Mia replied with a snarky tone and walked away.

"Why does she hates me so much?" Jeremy asked. "She hates me too, I don't know.." George chuckled.

***

Mia sits near the lake alone after leaving Jeremy and George. She ate her toast alone in there. Suddenly, Paul sat next to her with Alan. He smiled and tilted Alan towards Mia.

"He's like the toy we used to fight over when we were kids!"Paul smiled. "Why are you here?" Mia asked.

"I want to be with my sister.." Paul pouted. "Don't you want to spend time with Alan?" Paul looked at Mia. "What can I do to make you stop being angry at me?"

She doesn't want her brother to get even more wounded. She knew having Jeremy around was not great for Paul. And once Paul told Mia that Jeremy was cheating on him, Mia couldn't feel anything but pity.

"That is nonsense. I probably failed more than you. I'd just be ashamed if I stopped trying, because I looked up to you. You are so pretty and smart, Mia. " Paul played with Alan. He smiled when Alan started to coo.

"You are messing with me, right?" Mia chuckled. "You are handsome and successful. You have a handsome husband and a cute baby.." Mia touched Alan's cheeks. He smiled and tried to grab her fingers.

"You mean the man that cheated on me for two months with our surrogate? And the baby that is not mine? " Paul chuckled.

Mia sighed and hugged her brother. "I'm sorry, Paul. Your big sister is here now. I'm sorry I pushed you away because of my insecurities." Mia kissed Paul's cheeks.

"It's okay, but from now on, you and Alan will start to get to know each other. Promise me? " Paul smiled. Alan smiled too. Mia kissed Paul's and Alan's cheeks and nodded.