Wishing And Wondering ⚣

Behind the Eight Ball

Chapter Eight: Behind the Eight Ball

"The mind is its own place.
And in itself,
Can make a heaven of hell,
And a hell of heaven."

Ethan

I don't like this.
Not. One. Bit.

He tells me, everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be. He tells me, jealousy is a sin. He tells me, lying is wrong. But today, I do not care, and I will continue to lie and act as childish as I want until everything is the way it is supposed to be.

It was fine when I woke up today with Jackson, or at least I thought so, maybe it still is? No. It's not. There were signs I suppose, starting when I woke with him. We were in the same bed, as usual, he had on no shirt and I had no pants, as usual, but he turned away from me, abnormally, he didn't touch me at all. I woke up and gave him a hug, and he hugged me back.

He took a shower and I followed after his shower, but he didn't help me dress. He headed to the bank and kissed my head on the way out, but didn't take me with. He came home with new Jane Austen book but didn't explain it to me. He put on a movie for me and made sure to stay in the theater when I asked, but did not pay attention, he was on his phone the entire time. Now it was 2:09 pm. He sat across the table typing away at his computer and goofing off on his phone, I'm trying to eat lunch and read, but why is Jackson not taking to me? Today is the most noticeable day.

For about a week now he has been being so unfair! We kissed and nothing has been the same. At first it was because he was talking to Emerson, my hair dresser. I adore Emerson, she is so sweet to me and gives me candy and makes me laugh but, then she started to be way more nice to Jackson, and he was way too nice also. The way that he would talk to her was the way he talked to me.

I am not oh-so-special to him if he can talk to Emerson the way he talks to me. I felt so, so... Mad? I felt upset. And I know that Emerson liked me but, one day when I was being conditioned, Emerson and Jackson began to walk into a room laughing and giggling without me, Jackson even had his hand on her hip, like he does to me. And although I wasn't actually upset, I began to cry and scream.

Instantly Jackson broke his hand from Emerson's hip and ran to my aid, as he should. She was as worried as Jackson or pretended so, because she washed out my hair and interrogated me on what was wrong. I told them my nose and throat was hurting, stinging, burning. When they considered 911 I knew I was in trouble, so I clung to Jackson and breathed him in for about five minutes and ceased my cries.

Eventually they decided to continue my cut and once again I cried, I moaned, I shrieked and she stopped. We had to repeat the clinging, continuing and crying until I claimed it was her perfume. We haven't seem her since.

Then he found Alyssa, a different Alyssa but nonetheless one that made me feel jealous. When I set up our movie night he walked in in a suit, she came in after him in a small cream colored dress with glitter. He put me in the guest bed and tucked me in, he said he won't be back until late.

This is when I knew his luck was a bit too good.

I crept back into our bed as soon as he left. I played Doctor Who re-runs until they came stumbling in the room. His eyes flickered from her to me before whispering something her and sighing, she excused herself and he closed the door.

"Ethan."
"Yes?"
"Why aren't you asleep?"

He was looking down and had his hand on his hips. "Go to sleep Ethan. I'm having a date." This isn't the plan He has for us! She doesn't fit into our future!! I wanted to scream, this isn't right. "Jackson." I mimic his tone
"Yes?"
"Why did you kiss me if you're just going to go on dates and leave me behind?" I wish I didn't sound so human like. I wanted to get it across to him that girls aren't for him, I just don't know how without emotions taking over.

He sighed again and shook his head. He crossed his arms. "You are a supernatural being that will one day go back to heaven or wherever. I am a human and also straight. I kissed you because you wanted to feel it and that's all."

He caught his raised voice and calmed down. Gently, he walked over to me and lifted me from his bed. I stood in front of him and he held my hands, looking into my eyes seriously. "There's no need to be jealous. You'll always be my miracle and when you go back to heaven we'll still look and you and trust you to take our wishes and look out for us. We won't forget you, I surely won't." He ruffled my hair and tried a smile, a smile that would have given me life and hope if he hadn't said what he had said before.

We won't forget you, he says. It made me feel sick to my stomach. "You say that like I won't be here." I removed his large hand from my head and stepped away. I can't believe him. I can't even explain why I can't, "you don't understand that one day you'll be different than how you're thinking now! Why can't you just think that way now? You're so stupid!" The last part had flown involuntarily, like the tears making their way down my face. We were both a little surprised at my language. But without another word, he sent her home, we went to bed together and did not speak of it again.

And now, he is talking to Riley, he is speaking with Riley on the phone almost every thirty minutes. He even is smiling at the texts he receives from He only knows who. It's like he wants me to be jealous! I don't want to call anyone, anyone stupid. I don't even know where it came from, it just happened really. Why does it seem like he's everyone's friend but me?

"Excuse me?" I squeaked. "I need help." I longed for him to make me stop feeling so.. Just emotional. I want his advice. I looked at the ceiling. "Hello?" He wasn't speaking to me? No gosh please no! I haven't sinned, I haven't done anything for him to ignore me! "Please, please I need your help!" I stood from the chair I sat in quickly. He can't ignore me too! Please!

"Ethan!" Jackson's voice cut through my panic strongly. My gaze dropped to him across the room and in the kitchen. "He's not speaking to m-"

And then I was nowhere. Jackson wasn't there, neither was I, the house and the beach was gone. I'm nowhere. I was floating? But I'm sitting. It's pitch black and so bright. There is no air but I'm breathing. There is nothing around me, but everything. I can't move, yet, I move so freely.

There is a ball on my naked stomach, it's black all over except in two places. One has a white circle about two inches in diameter with a black eight in it. On the other side, there is a little glass where you can look in to the ball.

Ask.
Shake.

It commands me.
Out comes the only question in my mind.

"Will Jackson stop dating girls"

Yes.

It tells me.
Then another.

"Soon?"

It laughs.
Sooner than you think.

"Who's ignoring you?" And then I was there. Jackson stood in front of me with a quizzical look, I was clothed, dry, I can breathe, I have the ball.

"No one." I mumble. "Where'd you get that eight ball?" He refers to the black ball in my hand. "I don't know." I answer honestly. I don't know, I don't even know where I went, for how long, I have no idea.

"Right. Okay.." He laughs at me and walks over to take it from me and kiss my forehead. "You'll remember someday I suppose." He smiles at me and walked off with the ball.

Wow. Okay.