To when I return

11. Your story may not have such a happy beginning

WARNING: This part will include alcoholism and suicidal thoughts. It's a filler in from Lexie's past, before she left for Boston. I try to make the story not too involved with this chapter so if you don't want to read it you can skip it. You have been warned, reading is under your own discretion.

"So... Go a head."

"I grew up with my mom and my older sister Meredith. Then there was my 'aunts' Helen, Carolyn and Claine and their kids, including Mark. My dad left when I was four. I don't remember the guy that well. He was there and then he wasn't. I guess that was the first down fall." Lexie starts. "Then I skipped third grade. After that, I was on same grade with Meredith till we finished high school. Before ninth grade we had super close friend group so I didn't care that everyone else saw me as the other Grey. That changed when we went to high school. Suddenly I was the other Grey to my friends too. That was only because I was younger. I wasn't supposed to be in high school. So slowly I left the group. I became friends with the cancer kid. I think it was the best decision of my life because Link is still my best friend. After 20 years he is still there. So I started hanging with him.

I think I had my first taste of alcohol when I was 14. Our sophomore year, Meredith dragged me into this party. If I had known where it would lead me I wouldn't have touched that liquid. At least not in another seven years. I'm an alcoholic. To make it worse, I was alcoholic when I was 16. I was depressed and I was suicidal. I used alcohol to numb the pain. On my senior year, I can seriously say, that I can count the weekends with fingers of my one hand, when I remember what happened between Friday night and Sunday morning. I was drunk most school days and no one saw it. I did as well in class as I did before, I still went to my baseball practice when I had one. I learned how to hide it. I learned to hide it and only times when I wasn't drunk was when Mark was in town. I wanted to stay sober so he wouldn't worry about me. This went on from  Mark leaving for college, till spring break 2008. That is when Link put me to rehab. So I went to 'Link's cabin with his family' while I truly was at rehab with my mom's fake signature. No-one else knew than Link and his mom.

When I went back to school after the break, I was a week late and so was Link just so the story would match. I had spend two weeks in room full of people who probably were in rehab not for the first time. I was fine for a week. There was only one problem. How do you get rid of the pain if not alcohol?

Well therapy would be a good idea. If only I would've thought about that. I might be sober but I'm not fine. If I went to my child hood room I would know where you can find my suicide plan, the pills I was supposed to take and the note. I was planing on doing it on June 12th, day after my high school graduation. Only faith has fun way to interrupt. The last thing I did in my high school was pregnancy test... Or a few. Elliot and Adriana are the only reason I'm alive. Only if it ended there.

So as you know, Mark wasn't in a picture before 2018. He gave me 500 bucks and told me to do an abortion. I understand he was 18. I never told anyone else. Link and Mark were the only ones who knew back in Seattle. Uhm... They forgot my 17th birthday. My mom, my sister, my whole family. Only one who remembered and acted like that was Link. Then there was the last thing that happened before I left. When my mom learned that I didn't get in to Columbia, where I by the way did get in, she practically told me how she hoped I wasn't her daughter. That was the last thing I heard her say in 16 years. I left home on July second in the middle of the night and I never looked back.

Then Link and I moved to Boston, met Jackson, then Jo, Elliot and Adriana were born, I went through both pre-med and med school in 3 years. And rest you already know." Lexie tells her story in monotone voice. She doesn't want to let emotion in.

"Your story may not have such a happy beginning but that does not make you who you are, it's the rest of it. Who you choose to be." Jer says after processing what she had told him.

"Did you seriously quote Kung Fu Panda to me?" Lexie asks, clad that he was lightening the mood.

"I did. And some how I'm not surprised that you recognized it." he laughs a little. "Go to sleep. We both need it."

"Sleep well." she says.

"If you even try to sleep."

"Okay."

If you wonder why did I put on two chapters at one... My exam week is about to start tomorrow and I won't have time for this story. See you in December. Hope you enjoyed these two chapters.