If I Stay (2009)

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If I Stay - Gayle Forman (2009)

Rating: 3.5/5

Genre: Drama, YA, Fiction

Just listen, Adam says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel.

I open my eyes wide now.
I sit up as much as I can.
And I listen.

Stay, he says.

Choices. Seventeen-year-old Mia is faced with some tough ones: Stay true to her first love-music-even if it means losing her boyfriend and leaving her family and friends behind?

Then one February morning Mia goes for a drive with her family, and in an instant, everything changes. Suddenly, all the choices are gone, except one. And it's the only one that matters.

Mia
Mia got a bit confusing at times in the book. Towards the middle of the novel when Adam got to the hospital. Were she and Adam together or not? I did feel really sorry for Mia because of the amount of pressure the choice placed on her. Should I stay or should I go? She had no family left but she had such a right future and I was in her position I, honestly don't know what I'd do.

Teddy
It was annoying that we weren't hearing anything about Teddy. Couldn't Mia have overheard someone talking about him or did everyone forget about him for the first half of the book? I understand he was in a different hospital but I'm sure the author could've found a way to tell us more about what was happening with Teddy.

Adam
I honestly love Adam. I really felt for Adam as he went to college, the band was getting bigger and he and Mia were starting to drift apart. My favourite quote was:

"If you stay, I'll do whatever you want. I'll quit the band; go with you to New York. But if you need me to go away, I'll do that too. And that would suck, but I'll do it. I can lose you like that, if I don't lose you today. I'll let you go."

This was my favourite because it shows how much Adam truly and honestly loves Mia. He loves her so much, that if she decided to stay and he reminded her too much of her old life, he'd leave because he loves her and doesn't want to cause her pain.

Adam/ Mia's family
Mia doesn't feel like she fits in with her family, her parents re punk and her younger brother is slowly becoming more punk as gets older. Mia plays the cello, she likes classical music, I mean don't get me wrong she likes rock and roll she just prefers Yo Yo Ma to a puck/rock band and Mia, again never really feels like she fits in around them.
"If I felt like a fish out of water in my family, I felt like a fish on Mars in Adam's circle."

But eventually she does find her place with her family and with Adam's "circle." There's this one scene where Mia, her family, friends and Adam is on his guitar, she's on her cello and everyone is singing and having fun where she finally feels like she belongs. That was one of my favourite scenes because it felt like Mia sort of grew and became more confident.

The Writing
I would definitely recommend other novels by Gayle Forman because the writing style is quick and easy to read (I might try Just One Day). The writing did get a bit annoying at times because it went from present tense to her going through memories really quickly.

Will I continue?
Although I only gave If I Stay a 3.5, I will definitely be reading the sequel, Where She Went soon because I really want to know what happens to Mia and how she copes with the loss of so many people in her life.

Side Note:
Have you seen the movie? There are a few differences but I still really liked it. One of the main things I liked more about the movie was that Teddy was in the same hospital as Mia so we've kept pretty updated on him.

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