thanks adele for making me cry every fucking time :,)
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timothée's pov
were now 3 months... 3 long fucking months... 3 months from the day y/n and I broke up. I remember it as the day we got together, the day we first kissed, the day I first told her I love you... and I swear I'd pay with my life to be able to tell her again.
I knew I had to turn the page, go on, but there I was... broken.
I was stalking her on instagram, and for 3 months she hadn't posted anything... I couldn't get in touch with her.
these 3 months have been the hell for me. my house was a disaster, there were some of her clothes that she had left to me and that I didn't have the courage to give her back because I was too fond of them, they were the only clothes still folded and with their perfume... her perfume.
I got out of bed, passed the hundred thousand things on the floor and looked at myself in the mirror. fuck, I was in a bad way. my hair all tousled, dark circles and a pre-puberty boyish beard.
I went down the stairs, went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, but there was nothing inside. "fuck" I had to do shopping. maybe it would do me good to take a breath of fresh air and think about something else for a while.
I went back to the bedroom and dressed a little better, in clean clothes and shaved. I took the keys, wallet and cell phone. I thought back to my huge dark circles, but yes... it was 10 in the evening, no one will have been to the supermarket at that time.
as soon as I got out of the car I immediately went in. I immediately went to the refrigerator department to stock up on beers to drink during the night crying...
but...
my favorite beer wasn't there.
I let out a long sigh and turned, towards the end of the long corridor of the fridge, where at the end there was the cashier. there is always chocolate next to them, right?
I looked up and found her there... beautiful as always... backpack on her shoulder, hair down, her white converse... no longer very white.
I felt a feeling that I cannot explain... joy? calm? I don't know what it was, but seeing it took my breath away.
I felt my eyes begin to moisten and my breathing go faster and faster.
she hadn't seen me.
"y/n?" my voice was almost inaudible and trembled. she turned and our gaze met them, after 3 long months. her gaze... it was so beautiful... I took off my cap as if to give her respect... like when you walk into church.
she said nothing, looked at me, motionless.
"y/n" I repeated, trying to get closer to her. the closer I got, the more I saw that her gaze was beautiful, yes... but broken.
Was she feeling sad too? Was she still in pain too? Did she miss me too?
I arrived in front of her, looked a little further down. her breath trembled, like mine.
she put down the thing she wanted to buy, a tub of strawberry ice cream, her favorite, and walked quickly and quietly to the exit.
"no y/n! wait" I ran after her like crazy. this time I would have raced to not lose her. no, not like the last time. it was late and we were both on the least busy street in America.
"y/n, please wait for me." I managed to reach her and took her wrist to stop her and turn her towards me. "please listen to me" I didn't force her to stay, I let go of her wrist and she stood in front of me. in silence.
"are you continuing your studies?" I asked seeing that she still had her backpack on. she was enrolled in a very difficult university, for very intelligent people...
"I don't force you to stay... you can go if you want... but I really want you to listen to me" she looked up at me and her eyes met mine again.
seeing her like this was not bearable for me. was beyond the pain threshold.
"y/n, I love you. I love you very much. I still love you and I will never stop. these months have been 3 months of shit. I don't even know what the light is like anymore. I only go out at night because during the day I am afraid to meet you and not be able to stop myself from coming towards you and kissing your lips, which are now no longer mine... but tonight- "
I was interrupted by my own tears. the words that came out of my mouth came from my hearth. my voice was shaking even more and I was crying. crying like when no one sees me, but this time she was there.
"please, don't fall apart. i can't face you breaking heart" she replied in tears, denying with her head. "im trying to be brave" i said breathing heavily "then stop asking me to stay" she said. "i can't" we were too close. our bodies were attached.
"please come back" "timothée..." "give me another chance... I won't let you down this time. I need you, I'm nothing without you."
she began to cry harder.
"timmy... I can't" "why?" "I'm still in pieces, and I have to finish my studies... I have to graduate without any distraction..."
she put her hands on my chest.
"do you think it's easy for me?" "no I-" "yes, you think it's easy for me to be without you... well... you know what I'm telling you? it's true when everyone says men can't live without women. it's so fucking true. you think that letting me go won't keep you thinking about me? I'm just a distraction like that, look at you, you're broken. "
"I know timmy"
she was crying harder and harder
I took her face with my hands and kissed her, really hard. I missed her so much, I wanted to make her understand. she was the only one. she was everything to me. I needed her. she was my release. my savior. I parted from her lips.
"I ask your forgiveness. I ask your forgiveness for all that bullshit that happened three months ago, I grew up. I ask your forgiveness for not being able to carry on this relationship. I ask your forgiveness for breaking your heart"
I was sincere, like never before
"I ask you something else, can I?"
she nodded
"I still ask for your love."
—————————————————————————— Hi y'all!!! this song breaks me every time, damn.😫 I have a test tomorrow and I'm studying, yup. I also have a volleyball game tomorrow. free time? nah, what is it?🤨 I remind you that English is not my first language, I am still studying it, so I ask you to be kind. But if there are errors, write them in the comments.
I accept requests, write me in private or write them in the comments.
If you want you can also follow me on other social networks: instagram: @/chlametc tiktok: @/tomsupremacyyy
