Divine Intervention: Thanksgiving

Preparation

The next few days passed uneventfully.  We spent every possible minute together.  It was so hard to believe that he had already been here a week.  

We went grocery shopping for the things we needed for our part of Thanksgiving dinner and began the preparations that we could. It involved several trips to Michelle’s and cleaning out her refrigerator and mine.  

We were making rolls from scratch, so the dough needed to be prepared so it had time to rise.  We got into a flour fight while making the rolls and pie crusts and had to clean the entire kitchen.  We did that together too, laughing the whole time.  

We had made the arrangements to be at Michelle’s quite early the following morning to help with the cooking that needed to be done.  My parents were bringing stuffing and a green bean casserole.  My brother was bringing a sweet potato casserole.  The rest fell on the three of us to complete.  I was looking forward to this holiday and spending time with everyone.  My husband didn't enjoy holidays or spending time with family, so this year was going to be a welcomed change.

The pies and rolls were already at Michelle's and the other groceries we needed to take over were already packed up and ready to go.  I had checked the list one final time before settling on the couch for some snuggling before bed. He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head. "Everything okay?" It was whispered softly near my ear.  

"Hmmm. Absolutely perfect." I sighed.  "Did I ever tell you what holidays used to be like around here?"

He was smoothing my hair back and tracing shapes on my arm.  "I don't think so." 

"For at least the last few years, most of the time we would start the day with an argument over why we had to spend time with family and why it couldn't just be us.  Sometimes I would wind up going wherever by myself with some excuse of why he wasn't with me.  Holidays were always so stressful and I was always so anxious leading up to them."  I looked up at him and kissed him softly.  "Thank you."

I couldn’t read his face and I am always a little scared to talk about Mark, but I knew that he was there for me.  He just held me close.

“I’m sorry that has been your experience.  I love family, but you know that.  Your family is so warm.  It’s going to be a great day and I am looking forward to all of the upcoming holidays.”  He kissed my forehead and yawned. 

I was starting to realize and see how bad my marriage really was when I compared it to how things seemed to be with Avi.  I know in the back of my head that everything is sunshine and roses in the beginning of a relationship, which is where we were, but the differences were startling.  I was starting to wonder if Mark and I were ever a good fit.  I met him in highschool and I never dated anyone else.  Was I just too scared to explore something different or was I just too comfortable?  I had learned so much more about myself in the six months since Mark's death, than I had in the 10 years we were together.

“We have an early morning, ready for bed?”  I yawned too and pulled out of his arms. We headed up to bed.