Our Best Mistake || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 3

I'm hurt and the truth is that I don't know why. I've been telling myself that it was just sex but it isn't working much.

How the fuck did I get so attached so quickly? He's making me emotional... I'm not an emotional person but I'm feeling very emotional because of it and it's bugging the shit out of me.

So I've been burying my feelings for the past couple of months instead of dealing with them because it's easier. Currently, that method works for me and lets me do my job undistracted so I guess that I will continue to do it until I can't anymore.

SSA Aaron Hotchner
I might not remember the night after the party but I am sure about what happened. I see it in her eyes every time she looks at me and, of course, I don't blame her because I don't know if I pressured her or did worse.

I can tell that she is struggling but for as long as I've known her, she has never admitted that she wasn't ok at any point. She was always wearing her smile and dealing with everything on her own.

I want us to talk but first I want her to be ready and feel comfortable around me again so I'm trying to give her some space and remind her that if she needs anything, she can just ask.

She won't ask for help because she doesn't want to be a burden which hurts me even more.

Today, she called in sick which she never has done before, so it got me even more worried and I decided to go check on her after work.

I knock on her door but it took her some time to answer.

"Hotch?" is the first thing she says "What are you doing here?" she asks surprised

"I was on my way home and thought I should stop by and just check up on you" I explain and she just stands there staring at me. That's when I regretted it.

"Maybe it was a bad idea, I should go" I say and I turn but she stops me

"No, wait. Come in" she says opening the door further for me. I nod and I walk inside.

"We had sex" she says as soon as she closes the door. "After the party, I'm gonna say about 6 to 7 weeks ago, we had sex" she explains and I could see the tears in her eyes.

"I guessed so... " I answer

"You were drunk but I wasn't, I knew what I was doing so I have no excuse. I'm so sorry" she says

"I might not remember what happened but I know that it is not your fault. We both drank that night and I might have been in worse condition but your judgment was probably compromised as well. Whatever happened, happened and there is no taking it back now. You don't need to feel guilty for anything" I reassure her.

SSA Josephine Heart
It took everything inside of me to say that we indeed had sex that night but now, besides the guilt that is killing me, his rejection is making it 10 times worse.

"About that... There is more" I say as I sit down.
Rip the bandaid.

"I'm listening" he says taking a seat next to me

"This whole situation made me very emotional and anxious. Also, it's not uncommon for me to skip my period when I'm too stressed, it has happened a few times before... But today I woke up feeling really sick, that's why I didn't come to work" I explain avoiding looking at him

"You think that you might be..." he speaks but he doesn't complete his sentence.

"Maybe... I don't know... It might sound stupid but I was scared to go get a test" I say trying to blink away the tears that formed in my eyes.