Pleasure and Pain (Professor Kylo Ren x Reader)

18. Dirty Little Secret

A/N: Some drug imagery, more in a colloquial sense. Just wanted to give a heads up though that as we get into actual backstories there will be more mentions of drugs/drug use, but I promise to always handle these topics with the utmost care and respect.

*John Mulaney Voice* Switching topics entirely! Smut warning.

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Climbing the steps that lead to Kylo's front door, you found yourself feeling particularly thankful for the thick disguise of night. For the last week it had afforded you anonymity; kept you safe from prying eyes as you came and went from Ren's home...or more accurately, his bed.

Rationally, you knew that you were playing with fire. Your current situation was precarious at best; a leaning tower built on the grounds of a secret lust that could be toppled at any moment.

You knew that...and yet, you couldn't stop yourself from coming.

He was like a drug, lacing himself into the very oxygen in your lungs. Each insidious breath brought with it your hit, sating your craving while slowly building your tolerance so you needed more. He was addictive and you were down bad.

It honestly would have been a bit embarrassing, had it not been for those little moments you'd caught over the last 7 days. The way his touch lingered, the little glances he'd steal when he thought you weren't paying attention. Each incident pushed you closer towards that warmth, the one that threatened to infect you, body and soul. It wasn't love, god no, but it was something that confused you all the same.

The only way you could think to describe it was that, when he looked at you...it felt like home.

At least...what you imagined home to feel like.

With a sigh, you let your knuckles meet wood, your other hand tightening over the strap of the overnight bag slung over your shoulder. You managed a couple of soft knocks before the door clicked open, a smirking Kylo Ren standing on the other side of the dimly lit threshold.

"Do you always wait on the other side of the door?" You teased, eyes meeting his for the briefest of moments before he ushered you inside. You felt his hand land on your hip, his touch grounding you to earth as you slipped out of your shoes and set your bag down.

"Usually, yes," he breathed against the nape of your neck, his presence looming large and warm at your back. "Wouldn't want anyone seeing you...now would we." With that his touch grew more insistent, Kylo's hand gripping possessively at your hip as you eased around to face him. Even in the dark you could see the slight sparkle in his eye, a familiar glint of deviousness that made your body spark like a live wire.

"No," your tone too breathy to ever pass as unaffected. Your eyes drifted to his lips as he began to guide you backward, your body making contact with the wall as he effectively pinned you in place; one hand next to your head as the other still kneaded the pliance of your hip.

For a moment all he did was study at you, the faint glow of passive moonlight bleeding into the foyer from all the way in the kitchen. The pale gleam just barely managed to highlight all your favorite parts of Kylo's face; his lips, his strong nose, the beauty marks that splashed across his skin like stars in the night sky. You hadn't even realized that you were lifting your hand to touch him until your palm drifted into view, pressing lightly to his cheek a mere second later.

His face stayed stoic, but his eyes. His eyes gave him away. They widened ever so slightly at the contact, teeming with that same something that had a fondness for leaking into your blood. Kylo's breath hitched then, his eyes darting down to your lips as his own quivered with a scarcely controlled need.