Young Royals, The Break.

Wilhelm

He said he loves me. He told me that he loved me back. And I went offline. I turned off my phone and didn't reply. I didn't say anything back. Why do I keep doing stupid things. I keep blowing up my life for no reason. I could be happy, but no I am for some reason completely unable to ever let anything good happen to me. I am once again the worlds biggest IDIOT.

He said he loved me, and now I'm shaking. My heart is beating, so fast, so loud that I can feel it in my head. My hands slippery with panic, concern, anxiety. I can't seem to catch my breath, my chest hurts as if someone reached into it and meticulously pulled out my heart. My lungs have given up, they chose to stop working. Their deflated. Broken. Useless.

I know exactly what is happening to me. It has happened a thousand times before. On movie night at Hillerska when Simon held my hand or when Erik died and I had to go on without him, I had to take his place. But every time, I seem to completely forget how to take care of it. Take care of myself. I need air, cool refreshing air. I need water, cool refreshing water. And I need to teach myself how to breathe again, how to function as a normal human being.

Well, I guess I'm not really a 'normal human being.' And I am never going to have the opportunity to be either. I'm the Crown Prince of Sweden, and I need to deal with the reality of it.

He said "I love you", and now I can't see properly. My eyes are giving up on me, they're blurry, fuzzing, black. They're pitch black. I'm being consumed by this intense, engrossing darkness. I try to scream, shout, call for the real world. But it's no use. I'm falling, diving into this darkness and there's no chance of escaping. I'm trapped. I've disappeared.

I'm gone. Good Luck finding me.