Confused

Unfaithfully faithful

Water under the bridge by Jars of Clay

There are times meant for breaking
And words to ignore
And a bent to our souls
When our skin is at war
If leaving were freedom
Well, we'd both walk right out of that door
Maybe we can stay
'Til the last drop of water flows under the bridge
We can stay
'Til the last drop of water flows
And the years roll by
And you hold my hand
While the shadows stretch over the land
Crumble and fall in my arms
And we'll struggle to hold on
Waters, they rise
And they carry our hopes and our dreams away
Baby, we can stay, stay

Sinjay ran out after me.
"Go away,"I said forcefully .
"I am not letting you push me away again Coco,"he said.
"What kind of sick bastard are you? Acting like I am the one that's wrong. "

"I really am a bastard. I should not be here with Faye but... God, but I had to come. I am entertainment. I am not here as her date. Her mother asked me to sing. It would have been rude to turn her down. "

"Why do they need you to perform when they can obviously pay for Christina Aguilera? "

He smirked.

It was hard to stay mad at him when he admitted he was wrong and explained a valid reason why he was here and when he looked so cute in his tux.
"Oh my God, you're so jealous. "
He didn't say it in a triumphant manner. It was as if he was commenting about the weather. Ugh!

I rolled my eyes. I still deserved an explanation from him regarding the incident we had in the morning and for him going to hang around his ex-friend-with-benefits who clearly liked him even though he was oblivious. I had to know if they were still hooking up.

"I honestly dunno if you're still hanging around with me cause we are having a kid together or if you genuinely like me."

I really was sensitive about it and I had self esteem issues especially when the girl before me was as magnificent and graceful as Faye. I actually didn't know which category I fell into. Was I like friends with benefits too or just some random girl he made a baby with or was I the love of his life?

"Watchu thinking about? I can see the wheels turning in your head. I was with you even before I knew about the baby. I have wanted you before you and I hooked up. "

"What are we? Do you even mean it when you tell me things like you love me or that I am beautiful? "

"Do you realize you have never told me that you love me back!? Not even once. And you will always be beautiful to me even when you are old and grey. My heart will always beat for you Chloe ," Jay said as he walked towards me . I let him touch my arm. The simple touch heating my body up.

I turned to him. We were so close I could feel his breath on my skin and my skin tingled.

"That is not true! "I said, referring to me not returning the affectationate words back.
"Tell me when you did. I have been trying to win you. You are just so... You don't trust me. You have this fear that I am going to leave you. And one minute you're hot and teasing me. I have no complaints about the teasing though, the next you're pushing me away. I am trying my best to be understanding. You unexpectedly lost Rick and you're still dealing with it and what he made you go through. "

I realised I had never really told him that I loved him. He was right but that didn't make him hooking up with Faye alright. He had been leading both of us on.

"I never told you I loved you because I wasn't sure about what we were. What we are."

"That's no excuse. "

"I am not making excuses. You must be pleased with yourself, lying to the both of us. Playing us. Damn you. "

"Okay. I accept that I was wrong for having sex with her after I told you I liked you. But she knew where I stood all along. I had always liked you.

"You had turned me down for Rick at the restaurant. I was frustrated. I needed to get you out of my system. I know it sounds stupid now but that was the last time I ever did anything with her. My relationship with Faye was not based on love. I couldn't be honest with you cause I was scared you would think I was a player. I just needed you to like me back. "

"Well, I am carrying your child. Are you satisfied now? She likes you. I can see it in her eyes . And here you are, going on dates with her...leading her on. Then coming back to me at night, pretending to care."

"I told you it isn't a date," he said as he raked his fingers through his mid length hair, clearly looking frustrated.

Faye walked close to us. The garden wasn't really crowded so I easily spotted her.

"Sorry to interrupt but Sinjay your performance is up," she said with her fancy English accent. She was too perfect I couldn't hate on her even if I tried.

"Listen,I gotta go and sing in there but this conversation ain't over. I love you Coco."

❤❤❤

We walked inside together in silence. I shivered and he took off his jacket and wrapped it around me. He kissed me and went to the place where they had set a piano and a microphone.

He sang "Everything " by Michael Bublé. The guy was amazing! I understood why he was hired to sing at the club and why he was asked to sing today. And my heart swelled because this talented guy loved me. And I Loved him back.

Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. -- Irene
Peter

A/N chapter might contain lots of mistakes. I am insomniac but tired so I wrote this down.